Blame
by Creedo
Summary: When something tragic happens to Hutch's girlfriend, will he blame himself, or his best friend?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own the guys; I just tend to play with them a bit…**

**Dedication: To many of my friend's that inspire and sometimes push me to write…THANK YOU ALL!**

**A/N: Trying my hand a more of a Hutch story, then Starsky, although both of them will be prominent in this one, this will be more hurt Hutch. **

**Warning: This one will deal with a sexual assault, if you are sensitive to this subject, please read no further.**

**Blame**

**Chapter One **

Hutch was whistling a cheerful tune; his mood as of late was refreshing and upbeat to say the least. Both detectives flew into the squad room, the blond smiling and nodding at all his fellow officers. The brunet grabbed his chair, swinging it around backwards, straddling it.

Hutch looked up at his partner, his sky blue eyes, filled with a happiness that the brunet had not seen in a very long time.

"So Kathy's comin' home today?" Starsky asked , knowing that Hutch's girlfriend who had been out of town for the past week, was scheduled to return this morning.

"Yep. Flight arrives at 10 am, and I plan on being there, with a dozen roses to welcome her." Hutch answered the smile that he bore spreading across his entire face. "Then a candle lit dinner along with a romantic evening alone." Hutch concluded as he saw Starsky's face draw long in disappointment.

"Oh, I see how it is…" he joked, "this past week you've wanted to spend every night together, now that Kathy's comin' home, you toss me aside?" Starsky played hurt, but was actually happy for his partner.

"Yep, you got that right, sorry buddy, but I need some alone time with her, if you catch my drift!" Hutch winked at Starsky, who found himself blushing slightly and a little jealous knowing that Hutch would be in good company.

"Fine, you do that…I'm gonna call myself a little stewardess that has not so little assets of her own, if you catch my drift!" Starsky baited his partner right back, clicking his tongue through his teeth as he reached for the phone.

The door behind Starsky opened up and a rotund black man entered hastily into the room, "Starsky, Hutchinson…in my office, now!" He commanded as he retreated back through the doorway.

Starsky looked back at Hutch who shrugged in confusion and stood up, smoothing out the wrinkles of his corduroys. Starsky tilted his head to the side slightly before replacing the hand set of the phone back to its cradle, rising out of the chair, and lifting his left leg off his perch and swinging it around, turning to face his Captain's door as he politely waited for his partner, waving his hand in front of him, paving the way for the blond. Hutch tipped his head and led the way into their superior's office, Hutch taking his rightful seat to the left hand side, as Starsky hooked his leg on the door, pulling it shut with his ankle, causing it to slam with a bit more force then necessary.

"Starsky!" Dobey snapped as Starsky shrugged him off.

"Sorry Cap, it was an accident." The brunet detective admitted as he took his seat to the right.

"Listen up," the large man began his oration, "there has been a last minute change in the court dates for the Ferguson trial."

Both detectives looked at one another in interest. This was a case of extreme difficulty for both officers. It dealt with the death of an innocent child, in the hands of a sadistic monster that had a thing for young boys. It was a case that had presented itself while Starsky had been on vacation, seeing his mother in New York, and one of the rare times that Hutch had worked a case without his partner, but do to the severity of the situation, it was one he decided couldn't wait until his friend's return. By the time Starsky had arrived back in Bay City, Hutch had already apprehended the man, and had him behind bars where he belonged.

"What kind of change Cap?" Hutch asked, leaning forward, his elbow on the thin arm of the yellow vinyl arm of his chair.

"It's been moved up; opening arguments start this morning at 9 am." Dobey informed the duo as the partners exchanged glances. "DA's office wants you there in 30 minutes," Dobey informed Hutch as he sighed heavily, immediately thinking about Kathy's homecoming and how bad he wanted to meet her at the airport.

"You sure about that Cap?" Hutch asked, regretting the question the second he asked it.

"Do I look like a rookie to you???" Dobey spat as Hutch scrambled to take back the posed question.

"Sorry Cap, I didn't mean it that way, its just that Kathy's comin' in this morning and I really wanted to pick her up at the airport." The blond explained.

"Looks like she'll be takin' a cab," Dobey explained as he looked back down at the papers in front of him.

"A cab?" Hutch protested, "I can ask her to do that, besides she's already in the air, there's no way to get in touch with her, she's expecting me." The blond pled, knowing deep down inside that there was nothing that his Captain could do about it either.

"That's too bad Hutchinson, but you have your orders." Dobey shut Hutch out before he could protest further.

"Hey look, I can pick her up." Starsky offered as Hutch looked at him, "I'll tell her what happened, and then meet you back at the courthouse by lunch."

Hutch looked at his partner, "Yeah, yeah, that just might work."

"Well sure it will, you don't need me at the courthouse this morning, I can pick her up, drop her off at her place and meet you back downtown."

"Just make sure you tell her, that I'll call her at lunch time and not to make plans for tonight," Hutch's mind was working overtime, thinking about possibly testifying today while visions of his beautiful girlfriend deplaning, looking for him, scanning the airport for her missing boyfriend.

"I don't give a damn what you two do, all I care about is that you are in that courthouse precisely at 9 am, you here me?" he spoke as his eyes bulged slightly, pointing the eraser of his pencil at the duo.

Both Starsky and Hutch rose, wrapped up in their own conversation as they left Dobey's office.

"So you'll pick her up?" Hutch asked.

"Well I sure as hell ain't gonna let her take a cab, but I ain't springing for flowers either." Starsky snapped backed as his partner exited the room, and then made his way through the squad room and down the hallway with the brunet hot on his heels.

Starsky knew that Hutch was really disappointed that he would have to appear in court today, missing Kathy's homecoming. He wanted to assure his partner that he would take care of things, and make sure that Kathy was escorted home appropriately.

"Look Blintz, if it means that much to you, I'll spring for the flowers." Starsky joked, trying desperately to lighten the mood.

Hutch looked over at him, his eyes blazing before turning soft again as he let out a snort of laughter. "Last thing I need is for you to give my girl flowers. Just make sure you're not late, you hear me?" Hutch warned as he raised a threatening finger at his partner.

"I hear ya', I hear ya." Starsky agreed as they left the station.

They pulled up in front of the courthouse as Hutch prepared to exit the bright Torino, turning back towards his partner, dipping his brow, looking at him through his brow.

"Flight number?" Hutch asked his sometimes forgetful partner.

"What you mean? Don't you trust me?" Starsky looked at him over the top of his wire rimmed sunglasses.

"Flight number?" Hutch repeated.

"American Airlines flight number 1037." Starsky stated reluctantly. "Arriving at 9:55am, gate 26." He orated.

"That's a good boy…an' do me a favor," the blond requested. "tell her m'sorry. Would ya'?"

"You got it, now get outta here, you're gonna be late." Starsky urged his friend to leave the car.

Hutch climbed out, closing the door placing both hands on the door frame, bending down to look through the open window, "Oh, and by the way, the answer is no."

"No what?" Starsky as confused by the tall Nordic.

"I don't trust you," he snorted, "try not to screw this up okay?"

The brunet laughed as he threw his car in gear, revved its mighty engine and dropped it into gear as it roar to life at the command. Hutch stood just in time to watch his partner peel away from the curb and disappeared around the corner, shaking his head and running his right hand through his blond hair as he turned and hopped up the front stairs of the majestic building proudly displaying the marbled stone: Bay City Courthouse.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Starsky parked right in front of LAX airport, in the loading and unloading zone only, as he had done so many times in the past. He bounded around the front of his car, stopping briefly to wipe some fingerprints off of his hood before checking his steel band watch and heading inside the crowded terminal.

The brunet headed directly for gate 26 with a mere 3 minutes to spare. Finding a bare wall, right smack dab in front of the gate, he leaned against the wall, crossing one ankle over the other and folding both arms across his chest. He smiled smugly knowing that his was _not _the face that Kathy was hoping to see, and a little part of him enjoyed the game he constantly played with the two. The game of hide and seek almost, or just the feeling of amusement from their obvious frustrations when their plans were interrupted. Both of them were well aware of the sporadic hours that both of the kept. Her as flight attendant, in and out of town, and he as a police officer, often working nights and overtime. They handled it well, and their theory was that it made their time together even more valuable.

Starsky was the consummate teenager, playing prank tricks and enjoying watching them squirm and enjoy each other's company. Truth was, as long as Hutch was happy, he was happy, and besides, he really liked Kathy. She understood the complexity of their relationship and never tried to interfere or make Hutch feel guilty when their plans fell apart. She took disappointment in stride and usually with a smile on her face. It wasn't long before the plan had arrived and the gate was opened as a steady stream of passengers deplaned.

The brunet knew that as the last passenger disembarked, that the crew would be next. He patiently waited until the tall bond made her way out to the common area of the terminal. He watched as her green eyes scanned her surroundings looking for her tall blond mate. Starsky pushed himself away from the wall, happy with the fact that she had yet to spot him waiting. She carried a large duffle bag that was draped over her forearm as she made her way towards the exit. Starsky playful snuck up behind her, tugging gently on her bag as she tightened her grip.

"Mind if I carry your bag?" Starsky tried to disguise his voice as she swung around, startled, lifting her hand, ready to smack her would be attacker.

Starsky rose a defensive arm up in front of him, "Whoa, whoa, it's just me." He threw out there attempting to stop the onslaught of her attack.

"You're impossible Dave!" Kathy shrieked as she looked around, full expecting to see her boyfriend. "Where's Hutch?"

"Well, um, I'd tell ya' but I'm afraid you might hit me." Starsky said sheepishly, batting his eyes at the red faced blond.

"He couldn't make it, huh?" She said with a tone of disappointment, trying hard to mask it.

"Well, no. But look at it this way, he sent me in his place, you lucky gal!" Starsky winked as he tried to joke, lightening the mood. "He had a court case that was moved up, and he was ordered in this morning, he felt really bad, he wanted to be here, he even told me to tell you he's sorry." Starsky pled with her for understanding. If she wound up mad at his blond partner, there was no doubt in his mind that he would ultimately be blamed for it. "Now, can I please take you bag?" He offered as she reluctantly handed it over to him.

"Well, if I couldn't have my own cop, at least he sent his partner." She retorted as they headed out of the airport. "Are you headed down to the courthouse too?"

"Yeah, I told him I would meet him for lunch, how about you coming with me, and then I will take you home?" Starsky offered.

"Under one condition, we just stop by my place real fast so I can freshen up and change. I've been working all day and could really use a chance to get cleaned up." Her begging eyes tugging on his heart strings.

"Well how can I say no to that? Let's get outta here." He responded.

They made their way to his car as Starsky held the door open for her as she climbed in, and then made his way to the back, putting her bag in the trunk, and fishing the keys from his jeans pocket before climbing behind the wheel.

With in seconds the car was started and headed straight towards her place on the east side of Bay City.

Pulling up in front of her modest apartment, Starsky got out first and made his way to the trunk, popping it open and retrieve her duffle bag, he then made his way to her side of the car, her door already open, offering his hand that she took gratefully, as he helped her out of the car.

They made the way up her cobblestone pathway, to her front door. She retrieved her keys from her purse, handing them to Starsky who inserted the proper key into the knob.

Starsky unlocked the door and slowly pushed it open with his right hand, Kathy looked at the brunet a startled look in her eyes.

"What is it?" he whispered.

From where she stood, she had a direct path of vision straight to her bedroom, she saw a light on and a shadow in her room, "There's someone in my apartment."

Starsky set down the bag on her porch, taking her by both shoulders, he moved her to the inside wall of the living room, looking into her room for himself, from a distance, he could see some commotion going on. He placed his forefinger against his lips, instructing her to remain silent as he then placed the palm straight out in front of her, implying the wish for her to stay put. Retrieving his Beretta from its holster, he cocked it, muffling the noise between his hands, he turned and looked into her apartment, slither around the room and towards her bedroom.

To Be Continued…


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own the guys; I just tend to play with them a bit…**

**Dedication: To many of my friend's that inspire and sometimes push me to write…THANK YOU ALL!**

**A/N: Trying my hand a more of a Hutch story, then Starsky, although both of them will be prominent in this one, this will be more hurt Hutch. **

**Warning: This one will deal with a sexual assault, if you are sensitive to this subject, please read no further.**

**Blame**

**Chapter Two**

With almost predatory type reflexes Starsky slinked through the apartment, keeping his gun pointed straight into the air, his thumb in the hammer, the forefinger in the trigger. His back up against the wall as he made his way through the residence, he bent his head around the doorway looking into her bedroom, eyeing one suspect, stocking hose grossly disfiguring his facial features, as the large man was rummaging through her dresser drawers. He pulled his body back quickly, looking back at a trembling Kathy as he motioned with his hand for her to leave the apartment. Kathy shook her head no, her wide eyes conveying the fact that she was too frightened to move.

Taking a deep breath Starsky swung around, bringing the gun down in front of him, taking a defensive stance, his legs spread wide apart.

"Freeze!" He shouted as the man became an instant statue, his hands level with his shoulders. "You picked the wrong apartment buddy!" Starsky cautiously took one step at a time, gun in one hand, and pointing out to the man in front of him. "I want you flat on your face on the bed, you even think about moving, I'll blow your brains out." He threatened.

The man fell forward, onto the white silk comforter that covered Kathy's queen size bed. Starsky looked both ways as he entered the room and then turned to face the man flat down on the bed, one hand pressed against the man's back, holding him against the bed.

Starsky replaced his weapon to his waistband as he began to pat the man on the bed down, roughly starting with both legs, beginning at the top and working his way down. He never saw the second man that was hiding behind the door, as he flew across the room, using a vase he had pulled off the dresser and clocking the detective brutally across his right temple, Starsky's eyes, glazing over immediately as they rolled to the back of his head, his knees buckling as he crashed to the floor.

Both men heard the scream from the living room as one rushed in that direction, seeing a panicking Kathy fumbling with the front door, trying to open it as she sobbed hysterically in fear for her life. The second masked man was on her in seconds, grabbing her around the waist and whipping her around tossing her across the room like a rag doll. The first man was still in the room with Starsky, quickly bounding the man's wrists and ankles with stockings from Kathy's lingerie drawer and then grabbing him under the shoulders and dragging the man back to the living room, joining his partner in crime.

Both men lustfully looked at the cowering woman, who remained on the ground, they exchanged brief glances, and then the first man took slow steps towards the girl in front of him, while the second man headed for the stereo. He flipped on the music, as he looked at his friend who was already caressing the front of his trousers, feeling the arousal that was igniting deep inside of him.

"You're one fine bitch, we're gonna enjoy this!" He seethed as he reached down and grabbed a fistful of her hair.

The scream she let out was cut off by the sudden increase in volume from the radio. Her shouts and cries mixing in with the loud song that played throughout the apartment. She was roughly drug back into her bedroom as the second man followed his partner, his own arousal becoming impossible to disguise as he began to unbutton his jeans.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Starsky blinked hard, his head throbbing, feeling like it was going to split open, spilling his brains on to her carpet. The music was blaring, piercing his ears, closing his eyes tightly; he tried to will away the noise that was adding to the pain that was pulsating in his head. It took him a minute to remember and realize where he was. He pulled against his restraints, and felt the tight bonds against his wrists as he realized that they had also used rope on him, reinforcing the hosiery that they had previously bound his wrists with. His legs were trussed up just as tightly as he found it extremely difficult to move.

He heard a muffled cry coming from the bedroom, a woman's scream followed by a man's voice, berating and abusing his victim. A picture in his mind's eye was painted as he strained to make out the noises coming from Kathy's' bedroom.

He heard what sounded like slaps, and sobbing, a man's voice.

'_You liked it and you know it, Bet its been a long time since you had a man like me. Your turn Ray, go for it, she's a fine piece.'_

"Kathy!?!" Starsky yelled out, the veins in his neck bulging as the terror threatened to grip him.

He heard more sobs, and laughter from the two men, followed by more uncontrollable screams and barely audible cries, Starsky heard her pleading with her attackers.

'_No, please…don't oh my God, no please…you're hurting me! NOOOOOOOOO!' _

Again followed by more slaps and sounds of struggle.

"Kathy? You hear me? God dammit! You sons of bitches! Leave her alone!" Starsky shouted, trying to be heard over the blaring of the music.

'_You got a lot of fight bitch! I'll give you that. But I like a girl with spunk!'_

"You touch her, an' I'll kill you!" Starsky shouted, "I'm a fucken cop! You had better leave her alone." Starsky raged, his face reddening in anger as he spat, "You're dead…when I get a hold you, you're dead man, you hear me?" Starsky tried desperately to persuade her attackers to leave her alone, let her be.

The muffled screams and pleas became less and less frequent as they turned to uncontrollable sobs. Starsky thrashed about wildly on the ground, fully restrained and hog tied, his ankle restraints threaded through his tied wrists, pulling his legs up uncomfortably. He could feel his wrists becoming raw and starting to swell the more he struggled.

"Kathy!!!!!!!!!!" He shouted at the top of his lungs. "You bastards, I'll fucking kill you, leave her alone! Its okay honey, dear God, is okay." his stomach literally jumping to his throat, "Jesus, no, no, no…this isn't happening, no…please!" He gasped. "Hutch m'sorry buddy!"

Starsky actually felt the footsteps coming toward him as he fought to turn his head, trying to see the approaching enemy. Out of nowhere, he felt a blow and a searing pain in his midsection as the heavy boot from the first man connected with his stomach.

The over weight man, still wearing a stocking mask that reminded him sickeningly of the time he was poisoned by Vic Bellemy, knelt before him as he struggled to catch his breath.

"Your girlfriend is one nice fuck! You should be proud of that, and next time you're in the sack with her, just remember, she'll be thinking about me." He let out a vicious laugh as he stood, tilted his head towards the bedroom, "Let's roll Ray, you already got your rocks off once, leave the whore there." He shouted as he and his partner gathered in the living room and left the apartment together, leaving the music blaring and the detective in the middle of the room still gasping for air.

Just before the reached the door, Starsky caught his breath enough to spit out the only words he was feeling, "This ain't over…I'll be seeing both of you again…you…you can count on it!" The brunet gasped as the front door was slammed behind the two criminals as they made their way outside and away from the scene.

Starsky heard the soft sounds of Kathy's sobs in between the lulls of the music resonating from the radio. His allowed his forehead to rest against the carpet of her living room floor, breathing hard as he waited for a break in the music, before calling out to her.

"Kathy, you okay?" _God that sounded stupid, of course she wasn't okay._ "I mean are you hurt anywhere?" He shouted to her, only to hear soft muffled groans and moans coming from the other room.

"God Kathy, talk to me, say something…" Starsky pled, swallowing hard, trying to force the lump in his throat back into his stomach. "Honey, I need you to tell me if you are hurt."

"M…m fine, please, just leave me alone!" She screamed out, in anger and pure suffering.

"Kathy, are you tied up?" Starsky shouted for an answer that never came. "Kathy!"

"No dammit! I'm not tied up!" She shouted back.

"Okay listen, I need your help, you gotta get a hold of yourself, I need you to come out here and untie me so I can help you…can you do that for me?" Starsky pled, speaking only between the quieter moments of the music, praying for the infernal loud music to end once and for all.

Starsky was helpless, he couldn't do anything, he couldn't get to Kathy to provide any type of aid or support, he was stranded, and he only hoped that maybe the neighbors would have called the police on the loud obnoxious noise from the stereo.

He tried desperately to allow the cop in him to take over of the situation, but this wasn't just any victim, it was his best friend's girl, one that was in his company when this horrific event unfolded right before his eyes. He was having a hard time separating himself emotionally from what was happening in the crime scene he was now a part of.

Starsky heard a noise and looked towards the doorway of the bedroom, seeing a badly beaten Kathy, crawling towards him, holding her torn shirt close to her chest as he used her other hand to help stabilized her body. Starsky's stomach turned as he laid eyes on the beautiful woman and what they had done to her. Her lip was swollen and her left check was already showing signs of discoloration. The faint shrill of the ringing phone rolled in and out of Starsky's earshot as he concentrated on Kathy.

"Oh God Kathy…you okay?" Starsky said as she crawled closer to the bound man. She could only let out a muffled sob as she fought to control her breathing. "You're gonna be fine honey, just c'mere and untie me so I can help you." The brunet instructed as Kathy stopped in her tracks, sat on her backside, the back of her shaking arm coming up and gently wiping the blood from her mouth.

"D…dave…" She stuttered as her head dropped, and her arm came up, bringing her shirt tighter to her chest as she let out an uncontrollable cry.

"It's…it's okay, you're doin' fine," Starsky tired to reassure her as much as he could from his current position. "Don't worry, they won't hurt you no more…" he stammered as he swallowed hard, trying to push his stomach back into its rightful place.

She looked up at the ceiling, then closed her eyes tightly as she bent back to her knees and continued towards the trussed up man.

"Atta girl, you're doing just fine." He stated firmly, his eyes focused intently on her as he heard the phone ringing again in the background. "Come on sweetie, I need you to get me loose, we need to call for help," he encouraged her to continue.

She shook her head no, but remained in motion towards him, "Dave…no…I don't want help…please…"

As she moved closer, Starsky could see the marks around her neck, the discoloration of her upper arms and chest where these two men had hurt her.

"Just untie me Kathy, and we can talk, okay?" The curly haired detective pled, his eyes seeking hers as she avoided his gaze.

He rolled over as she approached, turning his back to her, as she went to work on the nylons that bound his wrists. He could feel her hands trembling as she fought to loosen them, her breathing rapid and uneven, he could hear her fighting to control it.

"I…I…c…can't get it off." She stammered, Starsky feeling her fear and frustration, "it's too tight."

"No its not, you can do it, come on Kathy, work harder." He stated, trying to keep her focused, a part of him worried that the men could return, maybe even changing their minds about being finished with either of them.

He could feel her cold fingers against his wrist as she fumbled to release him, he moved his hands as he felt the strain of his bonds loosening until his hands were finally free. Bolting up, he reached down and untied his ankles quickly before turning and catching her as she fell into his lap, crying hysterically, her one arm still tightly grasping her shirt against her. His hand smoothed her hair as he softly spoke, trying to ease her fears.

"Shhhhhh, its okay….shhhhh." He lulled her as he felt her body start to relax in his hold. "Kathy…God, Kathy," he swallowed hard again as he choked on his own words, "m'so sorry…" he spat out as he himself snorted in sadness, a wave of guilt and hurt that grabbed a hold of him, nearly strangling him as the loud music began to subside.

"What the hell happened here?" A voice shouted from the front door as Starsky looked up, his eyes wide, finding Hutch towering over them, his face pale with worry.

To Be Continued…


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own the guys; I just tend to play with them a bit…**

**Dedication: To many of my friend's that inspire and sometimes push me to write…THANK YOU ALL!**

**A/N: Trying my hand a more of a Hutch story, then Starsky, although both of them will be prominent in this one, this will be more hurt Hutch. **

**Warning: This one will deal with a sexual assault, if you are sensitive to this subject, please read no further.**

**Blame**

**Chapter Three**

"Hutch…" Starsky blurted out as the tall blond turned off the stereo and rushed to their sides, taking Kathy in his arms and away from Starsky's as the gravity of the situation sunk in to all of them.

Hutch's pale blue eyes locked with Starsky's, the fear and pain evident to the dark haired cop. "What the hell happened here Starsk?" Hutch pled for answers as Kathy sobbed in the blonde's arms.

Starsky looked around the room wildly, trying to process what _had_ happened here, "We…we got back here…she was gonna change…an' we…we were gonna come to the court house and surprise ya…" Starsky stammered.

Kathy let out a wail of a cry as Hutch tightened his grip on her, "Its okay honey, its okay, I got you…" Hutch tried his best to comfort her.

Starsky let out a pitiful groan as he pushed himself up off the ground and got to his feet, swaying slightly as the room swam in and out of focus, "I gotta call an ambulance." He spoke as he headed for her phone, his right hand grabbing the growing lump at the base of the back of his head.

"You haven't even called for help?" Hutch asked, a bit surprised, but concerned all the same.

Starsky made his way to her kitchen, picking up the phone and dialing the number by heart, he placed the receiver to his ear as he looked back at the two huddled on the floor, the tall blond holding her in his arms, kissing the top of her head as she sobbed quietly, he continued to try to soothe and comfort her.

The brunet spoke into the phone, "This is Detective Sergeant David Starsky, I need you to roll an ambulance and crime team to 11216 Lake Shore Drive." He commanded the person on the other end of the line authoritatively. "Contact Captain Dobey and inform him that Detectives Starsky and Hutchinson have been involved in a crime scene, have him contact either party at 555-4685," he confirmed the number by looking at the face of her phone. "Have him meet us at Bay City Memorial, ETA, 30 minutes." He concluded before hanging up the receiver.

He looked back at the couple on the ground, he felt the fist that had a hold of his heart squeezing even tighter as he thought about the road the two of them were about to travel down, hoping that they _both_ would be strong enough to handle it. His mind traveled back, by about 20 minutes, as he remembered Kathy's screams and pleas at the hands of her attackers, his stomach leapt into his throat as he fought back the urge to vomit.

His facial expression softened, he was no longer the officer in charge of the scene, he was the friend and the partner of the man and woman that were attacked, he fought back the tears that threatened to let loose.

"Hutch," he spoke softly, "m'sorry…I tried to help…I really did." He stated his voice quiet and weak.

"Tell me what happened Starsk?" Hutch looked up, speaking softly, his eyes locking with his partner's.

"We got back here, Kathy…Kathy unlocked the door…we…we heard a noise in the bedroom," the brunet replayed the scene in his mind's eye while he conveyed it to the worried blond. "I told her to stay put…'n' I went to check it out…" he swallowed hard, "I got hit…from behind…I never saw the other guy comin'…I swear…"

Kathy let out a slight whimper as they both heard sirens approaching from a distance, Hutch holding his girlfriend tighter in his arms, "When I came to…I was tied up…and I heard…I heard Kathy…"

The expression on Hutch's face hardened, "You heard Kathy what?" he asked, a part of him not wanting to hear what he was fearing deep down inside. "What'd they do to her?"

He heard Kathy sobs increase as she quietly murmured softly, her body shaking, "N…nooo…Ken…please…"

"Shhhh, shhhh honey, it's alright." He consoled her, trying desperately to make her feel safe in his grasp.

"They were…she was…" Starsky stuttered, not knowing what to say, how to tell him. "I thought there was just one of 'em Hutch…" The brunet tried to explain.

"What are you tryin' to tell me Starsk?" Hutch pled for him to just spit it out, a part of him knew what was coming.

"They raped her Hutch, both of 'em…" Starsky spat out quickly, his eyes begging for forgiveness as he blurted out the words he was trying to avoid. "I heard them, they took turns, and the sons of bitches raped her!"

For a split second the tall blond thought he was going to lose his stomach contents as he heard and felt Kathy's pain intensify. His face glazed over briefly as he went into a state of shock, trying to process and comprehend what he had just heard. No amount of training prepared an officer for something like this. They were trained to distance themselves emotionally from crime scenes, and, to a certain extent, the victims, in order to perform professionally and effectively. Nothing in their training taught them how to handle this type of situation. Hutch's mind slowly returned to the here and now as he looked up at Starsky, seeing the begging of forgiveness in his partner's eyes and feeling the hurt exuding from his girlfriend's heart and body.

"They…they what?" he whispered, unaware of his own words, feeling like he was dreaming, or watching this scenario play out before him, "No…no they didn't….they couldn't of." he found himself in a state of denial that he had witnessed from victims so many times before.

"Hutch…'m'sorry…I tried to help her…I did…" Starsky muttered, finding himself going through the motions, also unaware of the reality that was crashing down around him. "I…I thought there was one of 'em, they were wearing stockings…I didn't see the second guy 'til it was too late…I swear…then…then when I woke up…it was happening…it was too late…I couldn't help her…"

"Shhh, please Starsk…shhh…just stop…don't tell me anymore…not now…wait…" he pled as he tried to concentrate on his girlfriend in his arms as the sirens drew closer.

Starsky went outside to meet the approaching emergency vehicles as he left Hutch and Kathy alone. It was then that Hutch finally let it go, tears welling up in his eyes as he pulled Kathy even closer, his face buried in her neck, the pain that he was feeling, finally hitting him and he let free, crying into her shoulder, apologizing for something.

"Oh God Kathy, m' so sorry, honey, so sorry…'m here…I got you…you're gonna be okay, you here me sweetheart? You're gonna be okay." He spoke, a haze of shock washing over him once again as he barely heard her soft muffled cries.

"Ken…" she whispered as he felt her finally grab tighter to him, needing him, his strength, and his protective arms as he rocked her slowly, trying his best to comfort her.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dobey and Starsky sat in the uncomfortable waiting room chairs as they discussed the events that had transpired while they waited for word on Kathy's condition. Hutch had accompanied his girlfriend through the doors and into the ER, just daring the doctors and staff to try and separate them.

"Cap, I swear, I couldn't do nuthin'!" Starsky exclaimed in frustration as he hit his one fist into the palm of his other hand. "I made a stupid mistake! I turned my back and now Kathy an' Hutch are payin' the price!" He rose from his chair as he paced the room.

"Now, don't be too hard on yourself son, we'll find whoever is responsible for this, and make sure the wind up right where they belong, behind bars!" The large black man vowed.

"Thanks Cap, but that ain't gonna change what happened to Kathy." He responded as he made his way to the water cooled in the corner, grabbing a paper cup and pouring himself some water.

"I still think you outta have that lump on your head checked, its departmental policy ya' know, I need a doctor to sign off on you." Dobey reminded the stubborn brunet.

"I will, I will."

They both turned and saw the tall blond pushing through the swinging doors, his face weary with worry and sadness. Starsky was the first to approach him, "Hey Buddy, how's Kathy?" He asked, a genuine concern for her evident on his face.

"She's resting," he scrubbed the entire length of his face with his hand, "they gave her some sedatives to help." He relayed the information to his partner and Dobey. "The police photographer took at least 20 pictures," Both Dobey and Starsky both sensed Hutch's apprehension as he spoke, "pictures of her face, her chest, the bruises, even took pictures of….Oh Jesus, I don't understand how this happened? Why this happened?" The Nordic paced the waiting room, his hands on his hips as he looked up to the ceiling and then around the room, his stress and tension became very apparent in his body language.

Starsky walked up to his partner's side, "Hutch, you gotta believe me when I tell you how sorry…"

"Save it Starsk," Hutch cut his words off in mid sentence, "you did all you could, I know that, it wasn't your fault, just let it go huh?"

Hutch's words were short and curt with his friend, but the brunet understood, the man that had become his best friend, closer then his own brother was hurting and Starsky sure wasn't going to blame him for that.

"Look Starsky, I'm gonna need a full report on my desk," Dobey interjected, "and I need you to get that head of your checked out by one of the docs here, no excuses, you hear me?" Their Captain demanded, not expecting a fight from the brunet. "I've got Simmons and Riggs on this case, and one of them is gonna need to get a complete statement from you!"

"Cap?" Hutch's voice was quiet and reserved, "I don't want this getting all over the station, is there anyway you can just take Starsky's statement yourself?" Hutch pled. "Riggs and Simmons can't see 10 feet in front of them." He argued.

"You know the rules Hutchinson, it's out of my hands, they've been assigned the case, and you two are just going to have to deal with it." Dobey informed the duo as they exchanged glances. "Now tell me Starsky, did you get any kind of a look at them?"

"Nah Cap, I wish I had, they had their faces covered with stockings, all I know is that they were Caucasian, male." Starsky explained.

"What about height, names, voices…anything? Think Starsky, it's important to me!" Hutch snapped.

"You think it's not important to me too?" Starsky retorted quickly, both of their tempers flaring slightly.

"M'sorry Starsk, I know it is." Hutch regrouped as he inhaled sharply. "Just please, tell me everything you remember."

"We got back to her place, she unlocked the door, and then I 'member her lookin' at me, said there was someone in her room…" Starsky closed his eyes tightly, recounting the events in his mind, "I pulled my gun…and headed into the room…that's the last thing I recall happening before I woke up, tied up in the living room."

"Why the hell didn't you call for back up first? Any rookie knows to do that?" Hutch spat out, regretting the words the second they spewed from his mouth.

"Hutchinson!" Dobey shouted as he stood, watching the hurt expression that washed over the brunet's face as a paled Starsky looked at his tall blond partner.

The brunet hung his head with the words that had just come out of his partners' mouth, he looked at his Captain, "I'll be at the station doing the report if you need to get in touch with me, Cap." He said solemnly as he turned and headed towards the hospital exit. Starsky knew that Hutch was just talking out of hurt and anger, but then there was a part of him that agreed with what his friend had just said. _Why didn't he call for back-up?_ He had already questioned himself about it and it weighed heavily on his mind as he walked down the long stark white hallway and out of the hospital.

To Be Continued…


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own the guys; I just tend to play with them a bit…**

**Dedication: To many of my friend's that inspire and sometimes push me to write…THANK YOU ALL!**

**A/N: Trying my hand a more of a Hutch story, then Starsky, although both of them will be prominent in this one, this will be more hurt Hutch. **

**Warning: This one will deal with a sexual assault, if you are sensitive to this subject, please read no further.**

**I want to thank a certain friend of mine, a name I will NOT mention, for her input into Kathy's emotional state and the after effects of a traumatic experience such as this. **

**Blame**

**Chapter Four**

Starsky heard the footsteps picking up pace coming from behind him, he sensed that his blond partner was hot on his heals, yet he couldn't bring himself to turn around to meet his accusatory gaze.

"Starsk, Starsk…wait up, m'sorry." Hutch finally caught up with him, lightly grasping his elbow and turning him around to face him, "I didn't mean it, it was a stupid thing to say."

The brunet's gaze still avoided his tall partner's sky blue eyes that were searching for contact. "No, you're right, I shoulda called for help, I just wasn't thinkin', it all happened so fast."

"Hey, hey, it's okay…I never should have said that." Hutch tried to reassure his partner just for Starsky to jerk his arm away from the blond.

"Think about it Hutch, you're right…if I had called for back up," he spoke, a slight crack in his voice made its way up his throat and out of his mouth, "they never woulda had time to do what they did to her." He stated as he pointed down the hallway, back towards her room.

Hutch stood there, shocked, not sure what to say, he knew that his partner should have gone by the book and called for back up, but Starsky never was one to go by the book.

"I thought I could handle it, and look what happened." his indigo eyes finally locking with his friend's lighter ones, "You mean to tell me that you don't blame me for what happened to her? Not even just a little?"

"No Starsk, I don't…" Hutch whispered.

"Well you may not, but I do." He spewed as he turned and continued down the hallway and out of the hospital.

Hutch stood there dumbfounded, a part of him wanted to go after his partner, the other wanted to stay with his girlfriend. He got lost in his own thoughts, a part of him seeing the truth in what Starsky had said, if he had gone by procedure, none of this may have happened. It was another in a long list of 'what ifs' that would plague him and his partner. Hutch turned on his heels, headed back to Kathy's room, he wanted to be there once the sedatives had worn off, once the ghosts and goblins came back to harm her, he wanted more then anything to be her White Knight.

He made his way back into the waiting room, meeting up with Dobey's critical gaze.

"Did you stop him?" Dobey growled as he looked his officer up and down.

Hutch put his hand on the back of his neck, his muscles strained under the intense pressure and stress he was under. "Nah, I tried, I couldn't, he's goin' to the station to submit his report." Hutch informed his superior.

"Did he get his head checked out like I told him to?" Dobey asked.

"No, no, I don't think so, but he's gotta catch a ride to the station, and I'll check in with him later, I wouldn't worry about it if I were you." Hutch tried desperately to dismiss his Captains' worries. "I need to be with Kathy right now Cap." He stated as he excused himself and went to join his sleeping girlfriend.

He left the waiting room and was stopped in the hall by a man in a long white lab coat, "You're detective Hutchinson, aren't you?" The man asked as Hutch eyed him suspiciously.

"That's right." He answered.

"I'm Doctor Gaelen Herr, Ms. Wilson's attending physician. I was wondering if I could have a word with you in private." He asked, extending his hand for a shake and then directing Hutch to a door on the right side of the hallway.

Hutch nervously looked down the corridor, wanting to return to her room, but reluctantly agreed to the Doctors request.

They entered a small room, it was a lounge, with one round table in the middle and four mismatched vinyl chairs. Off to the right side of the room was a sink, with a large pot of coffee, and paneled cupboards that housed the many cups and bowls, frequently used by the staff. Dr. Herr offered the detective a seat, waving his hand in that direction. "Can I get you some coffee?" He offered as he made his way to the sink, pouring himself a cup.

"No thanks doc, if you don't mind, I'd like to make this as fast as possible, I wanna get back to Kathy's room before she wakes up, she may need me." He explained as he paced nervously.

"Well this won't take long, I really just wanted to go over her case with you."

"Forgive me doc, but she is not 'a case', she's a woman, one that I happen to care a great deal about, and if you don't mind, I would rather you refer to her by name, if that is not asking too much." Hutch retorted, his brow furrowing in irritation.

"Of course, forgive me, I meant no disrespect." He quickly recanted his statement. "Ms. Wilson, as you know, was a victim of a brutal attack, not only physically, but mentally as well. Along with her visual physical injuries, I am afraid she has many more, deeper emotional scars that may not make themselves known for some time."

"What are you saying doc?" Hutch asked, his heart jumping slightly.

"I, well this hospital can treat her injuries, but I am afraid that you may need to seek outside professional help to assist you in coping with the realities of what she has experienced." The man's lack of emotion and compassion was seriously bothering the tall blond; he felt that Kathy was being treated as a statistic and not a human being.

"I'm a cop, I think I understand the depth or gravity of her situation." Hutch retorted.

"Have you ever been raped Mr. Hutchinson?" Dr. Herr's bluntness caught the tall Nordic off guard.

"Well no, of course not." Hutch replied.

"Then I am afraid that there is no way you understand what she has gone through, nor what she will go through over the next days, weeks or months. And the sooner you accept that fact, the more help you're gonna be to her." He concluded before setting his cup down on the counter turning on her heels and leaving the break room before disappearing down the hallway.

As soon as the door closed completely, Hutch bent over slightly, supporting himself on the back of one of the chairs. He felt like the wind had been knocked out of him as he fought to catch his breath. He suddenly realized that he had no idea what she had gone through, nor what she was about to go through, all he could do was try and be there to help. His girlfriend had not only been raped by one man, but the haunting words of his partners played over and over again in his mind. _They both raped her, they took turns. I heard them._ He closed his eyes trying to will the voices in his head away, but the truth was he couldn't and the anger that was simmering, and beginning to boil inside him was becoming impossible to ignore. He hit the table with his fist, bringing him a satisfying burn of pain as he turned and stomped out of the small room, on his way to see Kathy.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

He sat in the dark room, watching her peaceful form sleeping, lulled by the methodical rise and fall of her chest. He thought about their last meeting together, their last dinner they had, which she cooked, and he enjoyed. The last time they had made love, lasted most of the night, and into the early morning hours. How they could be just as happy talking about current events, or spending a quiet evening together, barely speaking a word. He wondered when any of those things would happen again.

He noted her peaceful features of her face, outlined with dark purple and magenta discoloring that she endured at the barbaric hands of her attackers, her vastly swollen lip. All while Starsky lay in the other room, listening to the attack, not being able to help. _He would of if he could of, it wasn't his fault._ The hospital gown was draped low, exposing her delicate neck, a delicate neck that now housed lumps and the same type of discoloration that was evident across her face.

_Why didn't he call for help? He couldn't, it happened too fast._ The blond shook his head, trying to rid himself of the demons that were trying so hard to embed themselves in his brain. _What if he had time? Would he of, or would he have tried to handle the situation on his own? _ NO! Starsky did everything he could, nothing could have stopped this, nothing at all. Now they were all going to have to deal with it, together. The guilt that gripped the blonde's heart every time an iota of doubt entered his mind was almost too much to bear. He heard Kathy moan softly, looking up, her head rolling back and forth as she mumbled under her breath.

"No…no…please…" she groaned as Hutch stood and rushed to her bedside, taking her hand and grasping it firmly him his.

"Honey, it s'me Ken, m'here," Hutch attempted to slowly coax her back into consciousness, "its okay, no one's gonna hurt you, I'm here." He reached up and gently brushed her tousled blond bangs off from her forehead.

"No! No! No!" She screamed, the level of her voice rising in terror. "Let me go don't touch me!" Kathy shouted as her hand reached up, grabbing his roughly, her nails digging sharply into the back of his fist, her eyes wide and scared. Hutch knew she had no idea where she was, as far as she knew, and the last thing she probably remembered, she was being brutally attacked and raped by animals, as far as she knew, he was one of them.

His voice became stern, his face scrunched in worry as he raised his own voice. "Kathy! It's me Ken…I'm not gonna hurt you…you hear me?"

Slowly her facial expression softened, the fear in her eyes changing to deep sadness as reality crashed in around her, nearly suffocating her. Her breathing increased as she nearly gasped for each and every breath.

"Oh God…what happened, oh God…no…" She spat, "Ken, oh God Ken…no please. No this didn't happen," She panicked, her eyes searched for his reassuring sky blue orbs, his facial features softening as they locked gazes.

"Honey, its okay, we'll get through this, really. I'm here." He cupped the side of her face in his large hand, his thumb gently brushing the tear that trailed down her cheek away. "I'm not gonna leave your side babe, I'm here for you. Trust me."

She inhaled sharply, her quivering exhale apparent to Hutch as he bent over her bed, trying to hush her into relaxation. His right hand rested on her pillow above her head as he tipped her face towards him, gently kissing the side of her skull.

"Honey, m'so sorry. Dear God, I'm so sorry…" Hutch whispered inher ear, his own voice quivering.

He felt her body tensing under his touch, "You in pain?" he asked, concern washing across his face.

"A little." She stated as her voice tensed up.

"I'm gonna go get the nurse, be right back." Hutch promised as he stood and rushed towards the door.

"Ken?" Her soft voice vibrated through the small room, sounding almost like a little lost child as he turned to look back at her,

"Yeah honey, what is it?" The blond detective asked, swallowing hard every time he looked at her, reminding him of the true evils in this world.

"Is David okay?" She asked, her eyes welling with tears as she finally broke, her sobs spilling out of her uncontrollably as Hutch rushed back to her side, scooping her into his arms, and stroking her hair.

"He's fine Kath, he's fine…wasn't really hurt that bad, you know him, he's tough." He assured her as he allowed her to fall apart in his arms, her hand coming up and pounding his chest in frustration and anger. "He's fine; you don't need to worry about him." Hutch finished as he thought to himself, hoping he was telling her the truth, knowing that he needed to go check on his best friend.

To Be Continued…


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own the guys; I just tend to play with them a bit…**

**Dedication: To many of my friend's that inspire and sometimes push me to write…THANK YOU ALL!**

**A/N: Trying my hand a more of a Hutch story, then Starsky, although both of them will be prominent in this one, this will be more hurt Hutch. **

**Warning: This one will deal with a sexual assault, if you are sensitive to this subject, please read no further.**

**I want to thank a certain friend of mine, a name I will NOT mention, for her input into Kathy's emotional state and the after effects of a traumatic experience such as this. **

**Blame**

**Chapter Five**

Hutch stood in the room, hovering over the woman he loved. He suddenly felt awkward and out of place as the room was blanketed in silence. He wanted to talk, to say something, but what? What could he possibly say that would help this situation, to ease her pain?

Kathy nervously stared at her lap, her fingers fidgeting in her lap, hand still clutching a wadded up Kleenex that her boyfriend had dried her tears with. The bed was raised upright, the tan blanket with the white sheet folded neatly over her waist.

"You okay?" Hutch asked, his head dipping down, looking up through his brow. "Can I get you something?" He offered.

"No…" She whispered, her voice trembling.

"How you feeling?" He moved closer to her, gently sitting by her side in the edge of the bed. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"How am I supposed to feel Ken?" She asked, he eyes darting upward briefly before returning to her lap.

"I…I don't know what you're supposed to feel, I don't think any one person feels the same way." The blond assured her.

"I'm numb…I'm mad…I feel mad, sad, sick, scared, all at the same time. I hate myself right now, I hate you right now. I hate everyone and everything!" The tone of her voice continuously rose, "I'm dirty, filthy, ashamed, and I will never be the same…I feel like those two men took something from me that I will never get back…my life…" She raised her head again the tears were freely flowing down her cheeks, "So you tell me Ken, is that what I am supposed to be feeling?"

Hutch stood there, shocked at her words, he wanted, he needed to fix this, fix her, make her suffering and pain go away, but he couldn't. He felt a lot of the same things she did, and hated himself for it.

"Ken, I was…" she sobbed uncontrollably, "I was raped…those to men made it so I never want another human being to touch me…ever…including you! Is THAT how I am supposed to feel? Is that what you wanted to hear?"

"Well I want to hear what ever you feel you need to say, I want to be here for you and help you through this." His facial features softened as he dipped his head, "I love you, and we are going to make it through this, together…"

He reached out with his hand to take hers from her lap only to have her jerk away, "No Ken, please…don't touch me." She pled, her voice barely audible as he looked back up at her, her gaze fixated, once again on her lap, "not yet…I don't want anyone to touch me…"

Hutch pulled back, the hurt look evident across his face as he stood and backed away from her, "M'sorry Kath…I'll give you some space." He vowed as a part of his heart tore in half, wanting to, but not being able to fix this with a simple word or a simple action.

The door to the room opened a man entered. He was about as tall as Hutch, light brown hair and a navy blue suit with a yellow shirt and black tie. Hutch instantly knew that this man was a detective and was probably coming to take a statement from the victim.

_Victim_

He suddenly hated that word and how cold and unfeeling it sounded. _Victim _It sounded like a body part, not an injured or assaulted human being that had feelings and rights. _Victim._

"I'm Detective John Prescott, violent crime division Precinct 29." He reached in his pocket and retrieved his badge, flashing it in front of both of them before returning it to his pocket and replacing it with a small black note pad. Flipping the leather cover open, and grabbing a pen from his breast pocket, he tapped it against the paper. "I need to ask you a few questions Ms. Daniels."

Hutch took a step towards the detective. "Is this really something you need to do right now? Can't this wait?" he asked, the curt tone of irritation slicing through his words.

"Detective Hutchinson, you know as well as I do, that the sooner you are able to interview a victim, the more accurate the recollection will be." Detective Prescott explained.

"Its okay Ken, I'm fine…I can talk to him." Kathy explained as she looked up at him, his head tilting to the side as he made note how vulnerable and injured she looked. Her bruised face, neck, hands that housed scratches and discoloration. He knew that she had put up a fight, and was sickened by the fact that she had to.

"Let's get started, shall we?" Prescott asked as he pulled up the chair, sitting and preparing himself to take notes.

"Ken?" Kathy's voice cracked. "Can you leave us alone for a while...?" she asked, her gaze moving to the officer beside her bed. "I just don't think I can do this with you here, m'sorry."

"No, honey, no…please don't be sorry…" Hutch rushed to her side, "I want to do whatever you need me to do, just tell me 'kay?" he answered, but secretly a small part of him was hurt and felt like he was being shut out, "You sure you can do this on your own?"

Kathy didn't answer, she simply nodded.

"I'm gonna head back to the station and check on Starsk…but I'll be back soon, I swear." He promised as he reached up and tried to brush her hair from her delicate face, only to have her flinch.

Their eyes locked, the pain in hers, boring though his sole, "M'sorry, I didn't mean it." She said, trembling. "Please just give me some time."

"You got it…" Hutch answered as he backed away from her bed, "I'll be back soon…" He finished as he turned on his heels and left the small room, the door slowly closing behind him.

Prescott looked back at the _victim, _"Where do you wanna start?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Starsky sat in the squad room, on the back of his chair, his feet resting on the seat, precariously positioned. He reached in front of him, grabbed the bottle of aspirins, popped the lid, and poured three into the palm of his hand and right into his mouth, following it by a swig of his cold coffee. His right hand reached around the back of his head and gingerly massaged his neck. He felt the knot at the base of his head, wincing when his fingers brushed against it a little too roughly.

Hutch entered the room, seeing his partner at his desk, his stomach jumped in anticipation, he felt bad for the way he had treated his partner, and he was trying hard to get over is own hurt feelings and doubts about the situation. Hutch walked up to the brunet, placing his hand on his shoulder supportively, squeezing gently.

"How you feeling?" Hutch asked, Starsky barely looking up. "You hanging in there?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" He snapped back, immediately regretting his curt words. "Sorry, my head is killing me, and to top it off, I'm waiting for Suttle to come get me, wants to talk to me about the 'crime'." Starsky turned his head, looking sideways at his friend, "How's Kathy holding up?"

"Okay I guess…I'm not sure, I don't know, how she should be doing…you know somethin' Starsk, I was thinking about it on the way over here…and what do we do to help? I mean, how do we really make a difference in people's lives?" Hutch spat, his anger rising as he caught his partner's attention. "We come in on a crime scene, a beating, a rape, a murder…we take a report and then we go look for the bad guys. We forget about the victims and what they go through for the rest of their lives." Hutch started to pace the room. "We find the perps, put them behind bars, and close the case, and put away the file…what about the victims…the case is never closed for them, they have to live with this shit for the rest of their lives! They can't conveniently put the file away and close the drawer." The blond finished as his breathing increased slightly, his anger causing his face to flush.

"You trying to cheer me up? Cause if you are, you're doing a lousy job at it buddy." Starsky spewed, looking back down at his chair.

"Nah, m'sorry, that is not what I meant to do…I just can't help but think about all the people that we have walked away from, not even knowing whatever became of them." Hutch concluded and then returned to his partner's side.

The swinging door opened and a larger, older man entered the room, looking at the partners.

"Starsky, we're ready for you." The man said as the brunet pushed himself up off the chair, his feet plopping to the ground as he grimaced when the deep pounding racked through his head.

Starsky headed to the doors, Hutch stopping him by Hutch's touch, the blond grabbing his elbow. "You want me to come with you?" Hutch asked, him feeling the need to help someone with all of this.

"You sure you wanna hear what went down?" Starsky shot back catching the blond slightly off guard.

"Yeah, I do." Hutch responded as the two of them followed the older officer down the hallway. They couldn't help but notice the eyes that followed them every step of the way, and both men realized that the whole department was probably painfully aware of what had happened, and were watching the train wreck that was eventually coming down the tracks.

They were lead to an interrogation room, one that was supplied with tape recorders and long tables, surrounded by wooden chairs. The room was definitely uncomfortable, and even though Starsky was really under no suspicion at all, this was the most reasonable place to conduct their investigation. The brunet took a seat in on chair on the right side of the table, Hutch sitting right next to him, showing solidarity.

It was about five minutes before Detective Suttle entered the room, followed by one other man. The second man was either there to witness the questioning or to learn from it.

"First of all Detective Starsky, let me start by telling you how sorry we all are that you had to go through what you did. Our main focus now is to get the men responsible for this heinous act and see to it that they are locked away where they belong."

_We've said this same speech a thousand times. _Hutch thought to himself.

"Now we just need you to tell us how it happened, take your time, be as thorough as possible, and try not to leave anything out." Suttle instructed him.

Starsky took a deep breath; Hutch's stomach jumped slightly, not exactly sure if he was ready to hear what he was about to, but he needed to do this eventually, and now was as good as time as any.

"I picked Kathy Daniels up at the airport for Hutch; he had to give a deposition and asked me to be there for him." Starsky began as Hutch felt a pang of guilt for not being there like he promised he would be.

"And why would Hutchinson be picking her up?" Suttle asked.

"Kathy is Detectives'…" Starsky's words were cut off.

"She's my girlfriend an' I was supposed to be there." His stomach dropped.

"Sorry, we weren't informed of your involvement with the victim, perhaps it would be better if you waited outside Hutch." The investigating detective suggested.

"Dammit! Why does everyone refer to her as the 'victim' she has a name! And I would really appreciate it if people would start using it!" Hutch fumed as Starsky reached over, grabbing his arm, trying to calm him down.

"Hutch, Hutch. it s'okay. Take it easy Blintz, they're just doin' their job." The soothing voice of his partner did its job as Hutch's breathing eased and the color rushed back to his face.

"Easy? You want me to take it easy? My girlfriend won't even let me hold her, help her through this…touch her, and you want me to take it easy?" His voice was soft as he looked into his partner's eyes, knowing that those words just sliced through the brunet's heart like a knife.

Hutch's posture relaxed slightly as Detective Suttle continued, "Please go on Starsky."

"We got back to her place, unlocked the door…just as we were about to go inside, she told me that she heard a noise and that someone was in her room. I drew my revolver…" Starsky was again cut off in mid sentence.

"Is that when you called for back up?" Suttle asked with a slight hint of sarcasm in his voice.

To be Continued…


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own the guys; I just tend to play with them a bit…**

**Dedication: To many of my friend's that inspire and sometimes push me to write…THANK YOU ALL!**

**A/N: Trying my hand a more of a Hutch story, then Starsky, although both of them will be prominent in this one, this will be more hurt Hutch. **

**Warning: This one will deal with a sexual assault, if you are sensitive to this subject, please read no further.**

**I want to thank a certain friend of mine, a name I will NOT mention, for her input into Kathy's emotional state and the after effects of a traumatic experience such as this. **

**Blame**

**Chapter Six**

The twinge that shot through both Starsky and Hutch at that very moment was devastating. They both knew that this was going to be the toughest part for all of them to get through.

"No, that is not when I called for back up…" Starsky murmured as he sucked in a breath of air, "as I was saying, I drew my weapon and continued into the bedroom to investigate the noise…that is when I noticed a white male, approximately 5'10, 180 pounds, rummaging through some clothes on the bed. I pointed my gun at him and identified myself, instructing him to give up…that is the last thing I remember before waking up, tied up in the living room." He finished as Hutch looked on, his eyes closing briefly as he struggled with what Kathy had gone through. "I could here Kathy screaming," Starsky looked over at his partner, not really wanting to continue with him there, but knowing that Hutch was not about to leave, "…she was screaming for help…begging them to stop…"

He watched Hutch's reaction as the blond turned away from him, his hand coming up and covering his face in anguish, dragging down its entire length.

"What happened then…" Detective Suttle prodded the brunet to continue.

"I heard one of them…" he paused briefly, looking at Hutch who still had his back to them, "well, he told the other one…it was his turn…an' then she started screamin' again…and I couldn't do nuthin' to help her." The tone of his voice began to rise along with his anger as he relived the moment. "I heard them hittin' her and hurtin' her, and I couldn't do shit!" Starsky spat as he slammed his fist down against the table in frustration causing Hutch to whip around and face them.

"Hey, take it easy there Starsk, no one's blaming you for any of this." Hutch tried to reassure him.

"Yeah? Well no one really has to, cause I blame myself!" he spewed as he stood and walked away from the investigator. "If I had just done what everyone is suggesting I had done, if I had just followed protocol and called for back up, they never would have gotten to her like they did. Face it Hutch, part of this is my fault, like it or not!" The two men's eyes locked, both of them speaking volume to each other without speaking a word.

"Can we get back to the questioning?" Detective Suttle requested, his patience growing thin.

Their gaze broke as Starsky returned to the table and Hutch move back towards the door, his back once again turned to the two.

"What about names?" the questioning officer inquired.

Starsky closed his eyes, his head pounding as he struggled to remember the name that was mentioned, he pinched the bridge of his nose, mumbling, "Rich…er…Roy…no, um…" He snapped his fingers together as he shouted out "Ray! That's it, Ray! When I came too, I heard one of them call the other one Ray…"

"So you were unconscious? How long do you think you were out for?" the second man in the room that had been silent up till now asked.

Starsky turned to look at him, "I have no idea…I got hit from behind, and then I woke up in the living room, tied up…I was out long enough for one of 'em to…" he looked over at Hutch's back and then back to the officer leaning against the wall, "long enough for one of them to rape her. He was done when I woke up, and that is when he told this Ray fellow, it was his turn with her."

Hutch almost lost his stomach contents as he reached for the door handle and jerked it open, bolting from the room. Starsky dropped his head, his gaze focusing on his lap, his hands nervously wringing each other as he thought back in time.

"I heard the whole fucking thing…" he muttered.

Both investigating detectives looked at one another before Suttle finally spoke, "We'll need the records from the hospital for the report." He stated as Starsky looked up at him.

"What records?" Starsky asked.

"The records of your injuries, the report from the ER doc." He explained, "You did get checked out didn'tcha?

Starsky shook his head no as he spoke softly, "No, my Cap' told me too, but I didn't stick around long enough to get checked out, I came straight here so I could file my report with you guys."

"You mean to tell me, you were hit in the head, from behind, lost consciousness for an undetermined amount of time, and didn't get checked out at the hospital?" Suttle questioned as Starsky locked eyes with him.

"That's exactly what I'm tellin' ya…" he spat as he stood, "an' if you two are finished with me, I gotta go check on my partner." He spat as he headed towards the door, pulling it opened before looking over his shoulder, "if you think of any other stupid questions you need to ask, you know where to find me." He said as he rushed out of the room angrily, slamming the door behind him.

Starsky headed down the hallway, searching for the tall blond. He knew that his report disturbed his friend and he needed to know that he was okay.

He found Hutch leaning against the water cooler, his hand against the wall as he threw back a paper cup filled with the ice cold fluid, like downing a shot. Starsky swaggered up behind him, his voice low and concerned.

"You okay Blintz?" Starsky asked, his keys in his hands as he played with one of them nervously, peering around the Nordic as he saw Hutch scrunch his eyes shut tightly, and then opened them again.

"Why wouldn't I be, I wasn't the one that was hit over the head," he spoke as he bent in half, filling his cup with more water, "an' I wasn't the one that was raped either…me? I'm fine!" he spat sarcastically. Hutch fought to control his emotions as he wadded up the small cup and tossed it into the tiny metal wastebasket that sat beside the cooler. "Look, I'm gonna head back to the hospital to be with Kathy." He stated as he took a step towards the garage. "You wanna ride someplace?" Hutch offered, knowing that Starsky had not driven himself and was at the mercy of others for a ride. "I think Dobey's right; we should get you back to the hospital and get you checked out." Hutch finished as he stared at the brunet.

Starsky looked at his partner, reading the worry and stress that was evident on his face. "Fine, I'll ride back with you, you want me ta' drive?" Starsky asked, partly in jest, and partly serious, knowing that Hutch was worried about Kathy.

"You're joking right?" Hutch asked, his pale lashes rising to allow his eyes to lock on Starsky's.

The both of them made their way to the garage; collecting Hutch's broken down LTD and headed back for Memorial. As they drove down the street, Starsky's testimony resonated in Hutch's mind.

_White male, 5'10, 180 pounds…_

Hutch's eyes darted around, from the people in the car next to them, to the sidewalks, to the alleyways. He was amazed at how many people he saw that could fill that general description. He felt his anger rising once again as he realized how hard this was going to be to find her attackers. _Victim…_

He wanted to right the wrong that had been forced upon her, forced upon them both. He wanted to find the men responsible and make them pay for what they did, to her, to Starsky, to him. _Victims…_

He looked over at his partner, sitting beside him like he had so many times before, but now Starsky's sense were on heightened alert, he too was scanning their surroundings, looking for something, someone. They were all _victims. _

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kathy was up, sitting in the chair in her room, her hospital gown now pulled up tight around her neck. She stared out the window at the parking lot below. Her mind wandered back to the events that had transpired as she struggled to block them from entering. She watched a woman, pushing a stroller to her car, through the crowded parking area. Lifting her eyes, she saw another couple, walking hand in hand through the labyrinth of vehicles. Another man stood on the sidewalk, eagerly awaiting an older woman who approached him, being swept into his arms as he hugged her happily. She silently wondered what had happened to all these people that would bring them to the hospital. Was it a joyous occasion like the birth of a child? Was it something tragic, like the loss of a loved one? Was there anyone else in the hospital that was there for the same reason she was? Most of all, she wondered how life outside continued to go on, like nothing had ever happened? Didn't all these people realize that this place was full of sadness and pain?

She felt isolated, she felt shameful and dirty, she was angry and sad. She wanted to be alone, and yet she didn't _want_ to feel like this at all…she found herself daydreaming sullenly out the gray window, completely lost in her own thoughts. Kathy wrapped her arms around herself, feeling a sudden chill that ran bone deep and the aches that shot through her body. Sitting there alone and otherwise emotionless except for the single tear that rolled down her cheek, she leaned over and grabbed the tan blanket off of the bed, pulling it towards her, covering herself with the soft velvet cover. The weight of her trauma slowly crept into her mind as she felt nauseous.

Her solitude ended when the door opened and Hutch stuck his head around its corner, peeking in to see if she was resting. He looked the back of her as she sat in the chair, still staring out the window. She sensed his presence but didn't even turn to check making Hutch take note. His voice was low and soothing as he spoke in almost a whisper.

"Hey Honey," he stepped through the doorway and approached her, "I'm back, everything go okay?" he asked as he rounded the bed, sitting at the foot of it, watching her blink slowly, her gaze fixed on the outside world. "Kath?" he prodded a response.

Her eyes closed briefly as she inhaled deeply, quivering slightly. He wanted to jump off the bed and rush to her side, scooping her up in his arms, but his experience and training made him painfully aware of what her possible reactions could be. Many times, victims of violent crimes needed their space to be respected, if people encroached on it too soon, it could make them feel attacked all over again. His heart broke to see her try so hard to be strong, while knowing how weak and vulnerable she was. Hutch watched as she returned her gaze out the window.

"I gave my report, if that what you're asking." She mumbled as she fought back her tears. "Did you find Dave?"

"Yeah…um…yeah," he stood and began to pace the room, "he's in the ER now, getting his head checked out. We need a doctor's statement for the…" his voice trailed of as he looked at her, the tears silently rolling down her cheek. "Oh Kathy, honey…" He moved closer to her as she lifted one of her arms, stopping him.

"No Ken, don't please…m'fine…please…" she warned him to stop as he noticed her trembling hand. "M' gonna be fine…just you wait…" she stammered as she watched a young couple, leaving the hospital, the proud man escorting his wife and newborn baby from the entrance of the hospital, and helping her into the car lovingly. "I can do this…" she sounded like she was trying to convince herself as much as her boyfriend.

He sat next to her, on the very edge of the hospital bed, his light blue eyes searching her vacant face. His eyes followed her battered features, her dark blue and purple patterns that surrounded her face. Her bottom lip swollen with the slightest hint of brown, dried blood right at the corner. His heart ached to fix her…he didn't know if he would ever be able to help her again, he wanted to turn back the hands of time, back to a more peaceful and serene time, back to a time when she wouldn't have to deal with the horrors she endured and the ones yet to come.

"M' tired Ken, I just wanna sleep. Would you mind leaving and coming back later?" she spoke, her voice quivering, her eyes still fixed on the car outside with the happy family, "M'sorry, I just need some time…please?" Finally she turned her head and locked eyes with Hutch, her large orbs pleading with him to give her some space.

Hutch felt the tears welling up in his own eyes as he tilted his head, struggling to hold them back. "Want me to help you back to the bed?" Hutch offered, holding his hand out for her, wanting or _needing _to do something for her.

She accepted his offer as she lifted her hand, taking his tightly, allowing him to help her out of the chair. He gingerly put his arm round her waist, escorting her back to the bed, letting her lie down as he retrieved the blanket from the chair and covered her up. She quickly turned to her side, giving her back to him as he leaned over and gently kissed her forehead.

"I'll be back in a bit." He whispered before leaving the room.

Kathy pulled the covers up to her chin, her body trembling as she closed her eyes, fighting to keep the demons from entering her mind, shutting herself off to the world outside.

To Be Continued…


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own the guys; I just tend to play with them a bit…**

**Dedication: To many of my friend's that inspire and sometimes push me to write…THANK YOU ALL!**

**A/N: Trying my hand a more of a Hutch story, then Starsky, although both of them will be prominent in this one, this will be more hurt Hutch. **

**Warning: This one will deal with a sexual assault, if you are sensitive to this subject, please read no further.**

**I want to thank a certain friend of mine, a name I will NOT mention, for her input into Kathy's emotional state and the after effects of a traumatic experience such as this. **

**Blame**

**Chapter Seven**

Early the next day, Kathy was set to be released from the hospital, and both Starsky and Hutch had planned on picking her up. They arrived around 9 am, both of them making their way to the 4th floor. Hutch insisted on talking to her doctor privately prior to taking her home.

Dr. Herr took the tall blond into his office. He explained the post release instructions and the fact that they were sending her home with a sedative she was to take as needed.

"You also realize that in about 6 weeks, she'll need to return for a pregnancy test." The doctor explained, "And if those tests are positive, the two of you need to discuss what you both want to do about it."

Hutch felt like the wind had been knocked out of him, the thought of a possible pregnancy resulting from this, had never entered his mind until now. At first, he was overwhelmed and had to take a moment to regroup, pushing it far from his mind, deciding to cross that bridge when they came to it.

"Can I take her home now Doc?" Hutch asked, his face paled as he headed for the door.

"I'll see to it that the discharge papers are drawn up and ready for you shortly." Dr. Herr concluded as Hutch grabbed the door handle, pulling the door open and disappearing through it.

He walked down the hallway, noting that Starsky was waiting outside Kathy's room, pacing nervously. The blond had expected Starsky to be inside, keeping Kathy company and helping her get ready to leave, he noted his odd behavior as he approached him.

"What's goin' on Starsk? Is Kathy okay?" he asked, looking at the door to her room.

"I haven't gone in there yet, thought I better wait for you…hey look, why don't I go get the car an' pull it around front so she don't haveta wait." Starsky asked, as he dug deep into his tight jeans pocket and retrieved his keys.

Starsky turned on his heels, prepared to bolt as Hutch caught him by the arm and turned him around, "You okay Buddy?" Hutch asked, his ice blue orbs searching his partner's indigo ones.

"Yeah, yeah…m'fine. Just thought I'd go get the car, you should get on in there, she's waitin' for you." Starsky instructed the blond before heading down the hallway and to the elevators.

Hutch knew his partner better then anyone, and he knew there was something gnawing at the brunet, something he would get to the bottom of later, right now, he needed to get Kathy home.

Hutch slowly opened the door to her room, peeking his head inside and whispering to her as he watched her standing there, in the clothes that he had brought the previous night, staring out the window.

"Hey beautiful…" Hutch spoke, taking the first few steps into the room. "You ready to get the hell outta here?" he asked, but was shocked when she turned around and saw that she was crying. Rushing to her side, he took her gently in his arms, pulling her closer to him as her body trembled.

"Hey, hey, hey…it's okay honey, you're gonna be okay…I'm here…tell me what's wrong…" He tried to persuade her to open up to him.

"I'm not ready Ken…I'm not ready to leave here…m'scared." She sobbed, his heart breaking as he sighed heavily, his gaze moving to the ceiling as if looking for some type of help from above.

"Listen…you've got nothin' to be afraid of…me an' Starsk are gonna be with you every step of the way…nothing can hurt you anymore." He spoke softly, his voice low and filled with compassion and pain. "We're gonna find the slime balls that did this to you, an' we're gonna put them behind bars where they belong. I promise!" he vowed.

"You think that's the only thing I'm afraid of Ken?" She sobbed.

"Tell me…what else can I do to make this better for you?" he asked intently, the frustration for what she had experienced once again entering his mind and trying to take hold of his emotions.

"There are some things Ken, you just can't fix, but I know you'll try anyway." She said as she broke the hold he had on her, making her way back to the bed and pulling the covers up, trying to busy herself to avoid confronting the demons that had embedded themselves deeply into her soul.

"Starsky's bringing the car around." Hutch told Kathy as the door to her room opened. "Why don't we just get out of here, we will take this one step at a time."

A nurse entered, pushing the familiar wheelchair, as was the protocol whenever they released a patient. Kathy moved closer to Hutch.

"I really can't take seeing him right now Ken." Kathy spoke, her eyes avoiding his.

"Whatya mean? It's just Starsky." Hutch tried to understand what she was talking about.

"That's the point, it's because it _is_ Starsky…" Kathy's voice trailed off as she moved past Hutch and towards the window once again.

"Kath, he didn't do this to you…_they did!" _Hutch tried desperately to convey his thoughts to the woman he loved with as much understanding as possible.

"I understand that Ken…but don't you get it? He was there!" The tall blond woman struggled to control her emotions, the anger the shame the sadness. "He heard everything…everything that those monsters did to me…he heard…I can't face him right now…please don't make me…"

Hutch couldn't find any words, his voice was gone, the hammer of her words dropped heavily upon him as another piece of his heart shattered. He understood how she felt and why she felt that way, he remembered a time when he himself, was embarrassed and didn't want to face his friend. A time when he allowed himself to become addicted to a horrible drug, a drug that became more important to the blond detective then life itself. Starsky understood his shame and stood by him the whole way.

"Tell you what…let Starsk take us back to my place…at least let him do that for us…then I'll ask him for some time alone with you…can you do that for me?" Hutch pled, dipping his head and looking through his brow at the hurt look on her face. He felt guilty for asking her to do anything for him at this point, after all that she had been through, what right did he have to ask her to understand how he felt. "He's my best friend Kathy, you're gonna see him again, sooner or later. You have nothing to be ashamed of, you know that don't you?" Hutch asked only to be met with silence causing him to continue. "Let's just let 'im take us home…"

For one of the first times in his life Hutch didn't know what to do, he was lost with no idea how to act or what to say. The nurse stood there quietly waiting for the two to make a move or acknowledge that she was even present. Kathy looked nervously to the woman with the wheelchair, then back at Hutch.

"Can we just get this over with?" Kathy asked, inhaling sharply as she walked towards the wheelchair, turned around and sat down in it. Hutch grabbed the plant and balloons that well wishers had sent to her room and followed them out of the door.

Kathy's heart raced as they headed for the elevators. She wasn't sure why, but she was very apprehensive about seeing the curly haired brunet. She knew deep down inside that none of this was his fault, but she couldn't help but feel embarrassed and ashamed. Ashamed of what had happened to her, and even more ashamed that he was there. He heard every painful and disgusting noise that was made and every ugly word that those two men spoke to her. She was horrified by the event, but even more horrified that someone knew, there was no secret to the filth that had made its way into her life.

The descent to the bottom floor seemed to take forever, drawing out her fears and worries, everything moving in slow motion. The memories of her attack returned to haunt her as they traveled downward, a fitting analogy to the way she was feeling inside…

'_You liked it and you know it…bet it's been a long time since you had a man like me…'_

Her attacker's words returned to her like a bad dream as they left the hospital through the front doors. She saw Starsky standing by his beloved Torino, holding open the passenger door for her as more memories attempted to flood her brain.

'_You gotta lot of fight bitch! I'll give you that, but I like a girl with spunk!'_

She felt the bile start to rise in her throat as they neared the brunet. He turned to greet them, his mind also reliving the moments of their terrible ordeal as he tried to push them from his mind.

'_Your girlfriend is one nice fuck! You should be proud of that.'_

He closed his eyes trying to will the memories from his mind.

'_Next time you're in the sack with her, just remember she'll be thinking about me!'_

Starsky took a couple of steps towards them as Hutch noted the uncomfortable look that washed across his partner's face.

"Here, let me get that for ya'." Starsky offered as he reached out in front of him.

The tall blond handed Starsky the plant and the balloons that he held so they could be put in the car noticing that Starsky was avoiding eye contact with him, knowing that Hutch would be able to see inside his thoughts if he dared to look him in the sky blue orbs of his.

Hutch accompanied the wheelchair to the car as the nurse stopped and put the brakes on, he held out his hand for Kathy to take it and allow him to help her stand. Her body was still sore and extremely bruised, making every movement take effort on her part and relying on the blonde's help to ease the discomfort.

Starsky closed the trunk, looking over the roof of the car, briefly catching her gaze. He felt guilt in her eyes, blame, and anger. Funny thing was, she saw the same in his. She climbed in the front seat, scooting in just far enough to allow Hutch room to sit beside her as Starsky rounded the car and climbed behind the wheel.

"Ready?" Starsky asked, the only word he could speak. He wanted to ask how she was, how she was feeling, but suddenly that sounded like such an oxymoronic question that he decided to do away with stupid pleasantries.

"Yeah, we're ready." Hutch answered as Kathy laid her head against his shoulder and he noticed her pressing up against him, seemingly trying to stay as far away from the brunet as possible.

The ride home was uncomfortable and uneasy for all three of them; there was a thick blanket of tension that hovered over them while they made the short drive to Hutch's apartment. Starsky thumped his steering wheel, keeping beat to music that only he was hearing.

The memories of the attack continued to play over and over in Starsky's and Kathy's minds, the sounds, the words, the screams. They both had a lot to come to terms with, and things that they needed to work out, together and apart. Starsky inhaled sharply, and then exhaled slowly as they pulled up in front of Hutch's place. The last thing he wanted to do was to be there, all evening in this uncomfortable situation, he wanted to be out on the street, working this case and trying to find the monsters responsible for hurting both of his friends.

He parked the car, Hutch getting out the passenger side as he exited the left side. The tall blond helped Kathy out as she made her way, on her own to his front door. Hutch met Starsky at the back of the Torino as he retrieved her belongings from the trunk, offering to take them from his curly head friend.

"Let me help you in with this." Starsky offered.

"I don't think that's such a good idea Starsk. I think Kathy just needs some down time, some alone time right now." He explained as a pain shot through Starsky's heart followed by a sigh of relief. "You know how hospitals can be…they never let you get any rest, and I think she's just really tired."

"Yeah, yeah…I know how that can be…hey Hutch…s'she okay?" Starsky asked obviously uncomfortable with what he sensed, "I mean, with me…she okay?"

"She'll be fine Buddy, just give her some time okay…she's got a lot to try and deal with right now…she's gonna need to take it one step at a time…you know what I mean?" Hutch implored understanding from his best friend.

"Yeah…I gotcha…I know how she feels when it come to 'dat." Starsky agreed as he looked around uncomfortably. "Look I'm just gonna take off…give you guys your space. I'll call you in the morning." The brunet slapped his hand on Hutch's chest in a mock sign of support before he turned and headed to climb back behind the wheel of his car.

"Starsk?" Hutch called out to him as the brunet turned to face him, "You gonna be okay?"

"Yeah, don't worry about me, get on in there and take care of her." Starsky blew him off, jumped behind the wheel, and revved the engine a couple of times before peeling away from the curb, leaving Hutch standing there to watch the disappearing taillights in the distance.

To Be Continued…


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I do not own the guys; I just tend to play with them a bit…**

**Dedication: To many of my friend's that inspire and sometimes push me to write…THANK YOU ALL!**

**A/N: Trying my hand a more of a Hutch story, then Starsky, although both of them will be prominent in this one, this will be more hurt Hutch. **

**Warning: This one will deal with a sexual assault, if you are sensitive to this subject, please read no further.**

**I want to thank a certain friend of mine, a name I will NOT mention, for her input into Kathy's emotional state and the after effects of a traumatic experience such as this. **

**Blame**

**Chapter Eight**

Starsky pulled up to The Pitt's, Huggy's establishment, his throat dry and his need for a nice cold beer enhanced by the troubles that were weighing heavily upon him. He wanted so bad to forget those voices, seeing Kathy again only brought back the painful memories from that horrible day. He just wanted to forget.

He knew deep down inside that what Hutch and Kathy were dealing with and trying to get past, was more then he could even imagine. But here he was running from his own demons.

Sighing heavily, he climbed out of his car, closing the heavy metal door with a thud, taking the keys and shoving them deep in his cramped front left pocket. The brunet entered the crowded, smoke-filled bar as Huggy spotted him immediately and approached him, noting that the tall blond was nowhere to be found. It was not often that he would see one without the other; it was like dog without his bone.

"Starsky my man…what brings you out this early in the day?" Huggy asked, his eyes still scanning the doorway expecting the tall blond to wander through.

"Need a beer Huggy…" Starsky said solemnly as he straddled up to the bar, propping himself on one of the tall chairs and watching the thin black man move around the counter, grab a glass and start filling it with the amber colored fluid. Starsky watched, licking his lips in anticipation of how good this was going to taste and how smoothe it would slide down his dry throat.

"Looks like you're tryin' to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders friend, care to talk about it?" Huggy offered, noting the worried and stressed expression that clouded the brunet's normally cheerful appearance.

"Nah, m'fine Hug…" Starsky took the chilled glass from Huggy, put the brim to his lips and tipped it up, gulping down its entire contents with one motion, finishing it off, and then slamming the glass back down on the counter, fighting back the urge to burp and requesting a refill with the flip of his finger.

Huggy knew immediately that Starsky's presence here was more then stopping by to wet his whistle, he was here on a mission, a mission to forget what was ailing him. He poured the curly haired man a drink, setting it down in front of him as Starsky grabbed it and chugged half the glass.

"Whoa, partner, you better slow down there hombre, or I'll be picking your behind up off the ground." Huggy warned.

"Don't you worry 'bout me Hug…I can take care of myself." He muttered as the tall man behind the bar moved down the length of the counter to tend to other patrons. "Even if I can't take care of nobody else, I can take care of m'self." He mumbled quietly.

Starsky picked up the glass, holding it at eye level, examining the contents before taking another long swig.

The night wore on and so did Starsky's declining mood, he continued to try to mask his depression in the frosty glass of beer, one after another. By about the fifth one, Huggy leaned in, bracing himself on his left elbow, his voice low and discreet.

"You know that this is number five my friend an' you know what that means." Huggy stated holding out his hand, palm up. He had certain rules and guidelines that he followed to a tee, especially when it came to his closest friends, and Starsky was fully aware of them. The brunet had two choices, wither stop drinking or…

He stood and dug deep into his pocket, retrieving his keys and handing them over to the entrepreneur standing before him. He knew that Huggy would see to it that Starsky got home safely; he always did when either of the detectives tied one on in his establishment. That is part of the reason they chose to let loose there instead of somewhere else.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kathy rested on the couch in Hutch's living room as he busied himself in the kitchen, making her a sandwich and soup for lunch. He looked over the counter at her resting form, head laying and nearly disappearing in a large soft pillow. A cream colored blanket was pulled up to her chest, tucked just under her arm as she laid on her side, staring at the TV that wasn't even on.

A twinge snapped through his heart as he tried to imagine what was going through her mind. He placed the plate with the sandwich, a bowl of soup and a large glass of milk on a tray and carefully picked it up, carrying it out to the living room. Sitting it down on the coffee table, he reached over carefully, brushing the hair away from her face.

"Brought you something to eat." He spoke softly, his voice almost methodical.

"Thanks, but m'not hungry." Kathy answered softly, pulling her blanket up higher with one hand, it was almost like she was trying to protect herself.

"You need to eat…even if its just a little…how 'bout some soup?" The look on Hutch's face made it difficult for her to deny. He had this way of pleading with his eyes that made his whole face light up.

"Just a little." She agreed as she sat up, kicking her legs off the couch.

Hutch picked up the tray and gently set it on her lap, a smile washing over his face as she tasted her first spoonful, blowing on it lightly before drinking it all down and looking back up at him.

"It's gonna be okay, you know that don't you?" Hutch asked.

"Okay for who? You or me?" Kathy snapped back.

Hutch dropped his head in frustration as he sat next to her on the couch, just wanting to be present.

"For us Kathy…for us…" Hutch conceded a he dropped his head, looking down at his lap as she continued to sip on her soup gingerly. "I wanna help you."

"I know you do Ken, but you need to give me some time, okay?" she stated as she set the bowl on the coffee table in front of her after just a few spoonfuls.

"The doc gave me some numbers to call…numbers of people for us to talk to." The blond offered as more of a gesture then a suggestion. "I thought maybe we could give 'im a call tomorrow and set up an appointment."

"Ken, I'm not ready for that, if I can't even talk to you, how do you expect me to talk to some stranger about this shit?" The irritation level in her voice rose sharply.

"I just thought it might be easier for you to talk to a stranger then me."

"Nothing is easy right now…nothing…" Her voice trailed off as she settled back down, placing her head against the pillow.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Starsky staggered slightly in the narrow hallway leading from the bathroom and back out to the crowded bar area. He fell forward just as he reached the tall counter, catching himself with his hand. Looking up, he was met with Huggy's amused face.

"Dishd you feel that earssthquake?" Starsky slurred as he snorted in lughter at his own joke, picking up his almost empty glass from the counter and downing the remaining liquid, placing the hour glass shaped container back down in front of him as it tilted on its side, nearly tipping over before Huggy could grab it.

Starsky raised his finger in front of him, requesting another drink, one eye closed, slouched over, his head very close to the counter top.

"Don'tcha think you've had enough my friend?" Huggy asked, concerned by the out of character behavior he was witnessing.

"I've barely gotten shtarted Huggggy…." The brunet spoke earning him a sigh of frustration from the tall thin man before him. "Its s'early…there's plenty of night left…" he protested as he pushed himself up off the bar, turning around, swaying and falling forward just a couple of steps before catching his balance.

He turned back around and stumbled right into the arms if Rita, Huggy's more then capable hands as she caught the drunken brunet and stopped him from falling further.

"Whoa there stud…let me help you." She offered as she set down her tray on an empty seat and used both hands to sit the curly haired detective back in place.

"You're beautiful…you know that Anita?" he said, a smile spreading across his flushing face.

"The name's Rita, 'member?" She snapped back playfully.

She smiled at him, wishing he was sober, she had always had a thing for the brunet, a part of her that secretly wanted him, unbeknownst to Starsky, she had a strong crush that she would never admit to if asked. Rita preferred to keep up the tough exterior that she was known for, she allowed few people in close enough to hurt her.

"Well Rita…whatcha say you an' I go back to my place?" Starsky spoke in a slow drunken drawl.

"You wish…" She shot him down, a part of her wanting to take him up on his offer.

Rita went on about her business taking care of the patron's of Huggy's place while Starsky leaned against the bar, propping himself up on his elbows, looking at the black man moving smoothly behind the counter. Placing another ice cold brew in front of the brunet, Huggy excused himself and disappeared to the back of his establishment. Starsky watched as the white foam sloshed over the lip of the glass and down the side, clearing the frosty glass as it traveled to the bottom.

In the back, Huggy lifted the olive green hand piece of the phone, placing it to his ear and dialing a number. After pausing briefly he spoke loud and clear into the receiver.

"Hutch? It s'me Huggy…I thought you might like to know that I have your better half here in my place, and I'm afraid he's gonna need some help getting' home if you catch my drift?"

Furrowing his brow, he listened to Hutch as the blond explained that he couldn't leave Kathy alone and asked Huggy to see to Starsky's welfare.

"No problemo, my friend…sure notta worry. He can crash here tonight…I got an empty room…sure…don't stress my blond compadre, I'll see to it that he's tuck in safe and sound…don't you know it? I took them away before I served his fifth beer…will do…you just take care of that lady of yours…" Huggy concluded and then returned the receiver to its cradle.

He paused briefly as his attention was drawn to a commotion coming from the front of the bar. Stepping through the door way, he saw Rita standing next to a man who held her elbow tightly, pulling her closer to him. Starsky was still leaning against the counter, swaying slightly as he held up a threatening finger at the male.

"Letergo!" Starsky spoke.

"Its okay Starsky…don't worry…I get this crap all the time." Rita tried to calm the brunet's temper.

"Its not ok Rita…no one has the right to treat you like that…y'hear me? No one!" Starsky slurred as he struggled to take a step towards the couple. "NOW, letergo!" the brunet demanded as he found himself standing toe to toe with a big burly man that stood about 6'3" and must of weighed at least 300 pounds causing Starsky to strain his neck to look up at him.

"You're kidding right?" The man spoke, smiling as he exposed a mouthful of either grossly decayed or missing teeth.

"Letergo." Starsky repeated as Huggy rounded the bar, trying desperately to get there before things got out of hand.

Huggy watched in horror as the inebriated brunet raised his hands, placing them on the massive man's chest and pushing him backwards threateningly. The large man let go of Rita lightly pushing her to the side as he stood his ground.

"At's better." Starsky said triumphantly as he felt a blinding blow to the left side of his temple and the laminate flooring of the Pitt's came rushing up at him as everything went black.

He vaguely heard his friend Huggy's voice shouting out at him…

"_Starsky!!!!"_

To Be Continued


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I do not own the guys; I just tend to play with them a bit…**

**Dedication: To many of my friend's that inspire and sometimes push me to write…THANK YOU ALL!**

**A/N: Trying my hand a more of a Hutch story, then Starsky, although both of them will be prominent in this one, this will be more hurt Hutch. **

**Warning: This one will deal with a sexual assault, if you are sensitive to this subject, please read no further.**

**I want to thank a certain friend of mine, a name I will NOT mention, for her input into Kathy's emotional state and the after effects of a traumatic experience such as this. **

**Blame**

**Chapter Nine**

Starsky blinked hard, the blinding pain that pierced his head making him nauseous as he closed his eyes tight, his hand coming up and gripping his head.

He rolled over on his side, feeling the mattress underneath him and the comforter that had been thrown over him carelessly. He couldn't remember where he was or how he got there. At first he was startled, the last thing he remembered was being at Huggy's, having a few drinks. Another wave of nausea floated over his as he swallowed hard, trying to keep his stomach contents where they belonged. He opened his eyes slowly, looking around the room, noting the vaguely familiar décor he tried to lift his head against the fierce battle that was raging inside his skull and throughout his body.

His right hand came up and gently palpated under and around his left eye, feeling the tenderness that he recognized and knowing that he must have had some type of trauma in the general vicinity to cause it to be painful to touch.

The door to his room opened and a very loud and way too cheerful Huggy came bouncing in, talking far too loud and fast for the hung over detective to handle.

"Starsky, my man! So good to see you survived the night! How ya' feelin'? Can I get ya' some grub?" Huggy asked, his smile that almost seemed too large for his thin face radiated across the room.

Starsky pulled the worn cover over his head, trying to shield himself from the noise and the pain that threatened to end his existence as he knew it.

"Jeez Hug, please don't mention food." Starsky gagged on his own saliva as he choked it down.

"Whatsa matter compadre? Too much liquid pain killer las' night?" Huggy asked as he knelt next to the bed that held his miserable friend.

"Do ya' really need to yell, m'right here ya' know." Starsky groaned into his pillow.

"Sorry Starsk…ya' want me ta' let you sleep?" The thin black man lowered his voice slightly, but not enough for Starsky's taste seeing how even the slightest noise made his brains feel like they were about to start oozing out of his ears.

"Nah…I need to get up…don' think I could sleep feeling like this anyways…" The brunet again reached up and touched his eye. "Um, tell me Huggy…exactly what happened last night? How'd I wind up here?" He asked looking around the plainly decorated room, now recognizing it as one of the ones above Huggy's bar, thankful that he was there instead of on the side of some road.

"You want the whole story or the Reader's Digest version?" Huggy asked delicately.

"Give me the condensed version would ya?" Starsky asked, trying to sit up with as little pain as possible, tasting the sour stale liquor that baited his breath harshly. He licked his lips trying desperately top rid himself of the morning breath that lingered on.

"You got drunk and tried to knock out a Neanderthal, who in turn, introduced you to my floor." Huggy explained as Starsky sat on the edge of his bed, nodding his head as his fingers gingerly touched his bruised left cheek. "But look on the bright side, now Rita thinks you go the hots for her!" Huggy snorted in slight laughter as he came nearer.

"Ha ha ha , bet you're getting a real kick outta this," Starsky grumbled as untangled himself from his sheets, throwing them off of him and standing up.

Huggy looked down at Starsky's waist, raising one eyebrow at his friend and clearing his throat to get the brunets attention.

"Ahem…" the tall black man sounded off as he flipped his head downward, "…xyz…if you get my drift…you're about to get caught in a draft."

Starsky furrowed his brow at Huggy and then let his gaze travel downward to his own jeans which were unbuttoned, not only unbuttoned but wide opened. Starsky had no idea if this was his doing or someone else's.

"I don't know what you're worried about, its not like I was sleeping with you in my bed," he remarked with a hint of embarrassment at not remembering what happened, as he reached down and zipped himself up, making sure everything was tucked securely into place. "Could you muster me up a cup of strong coffee Hug…?"

"Will do my bleached brother," Huggy responded as he turned to leave the room.

"An' maybe a couple of aspirin?" Starsky continued just as his friend was leaving the room.

"Consider it done." The entrepreneur answered before disappearing behind the slowly closing door.

Starsky scrubbed both of his hands through his curly hair several times, before dragging them down his face. The pain that was throbbing through his head was nearly unbearable and made him nauseous; his mouth was dry and rancid. The brunet looked around the room again, making sure he wasn't forget anything, feeling his pockets, he recognized the familiar bulge of his wallet and then he automatically checked under his right arm and felt his weapon. It wasn't the first time he had slept with it on, and it probably wouldn't be the last.

Starsky walked over to the bed, kicking some of the covers that had fallen to the ground aside, trying to locate his one missing blue Adidas. Not finding it, he walked around through the small room, every step pounding in his head with echoing thunder as he thought to himself how dismally decorated these rooms were. Obviously Huggy did not want his tenants getting too comfortable or staying for long. Walking into the bathroom he spotted the elusive shoe next to the toilet, having no recollection of depositing it there.

Returning to the bed, he sat on its edge, struggling to pull on the blue tennis shoe as the shrill sound of the phone ringing sliced through his brain, nearly splitting it in half.

He quickly lay across the bed, grabbing the phone as quickly as possible to stop the torturous noise, placing it against his ear and mumbling into it.

"H'llo?" His eyes were closed as he fought to keep his brains from beginning to ooze out his eye sockets.

"Starsk? Its me, Hutch…"

Starsky had already recognized his partners voice by the time the first syllabal had been spoken.

"Hey Buddy…what's shakin'? How's Kathy this morning?" The brunet regretted those words the second he spoken them, feeling like an idiot…_just how in the hell did he think she was? _He thought to himself.

"She's fine…she's hanging in there, but to tell you the truth, she's already sick of me trying to mother her and wants me to get out of here for awhile…" Hutch explained, Starsky sensing the hint of hurt in his partner's voice.

"Took her long enough…" Starsky snorted in jest, but not sure how his friend would take that jab.

"Well I was thinking, if you're not doing anything…maybe we could go to the station and see if there have been any developments, anything new…anything…" Hutch's voice trailed off as Starsky felt his pain through the line.

"I'm on my way, I'll pick you up and we'll go on in." he said without hesitation.

"Starsk, could you do me a favor?"

"Name it."

"When you get here, just honk, I'll come outside." Hutch said, not wanting to come out and just tell his best friend of so many years that Kathy didn't want to see him.

"Whatever you say." Starsky answered.

As he hung up the phone, he had that same strange feeling in the pit of his stomach, deep down inside, he knew that Kathy didn't want to see him and he wondered if she blamed him as much as he blamed himself. He jumped up off the bed and headed for the door, knowing that he had to get out of there before he caught the urge to drink another beer, trying to forget his guilt.

Starsky left the room, bounding down the staircase, taking three steps at a time, and headed out the front door, forgetting all about the coffee he had requested from Huggy.

The brunet turned back around, walking back inside the establishment, his face red in embarrassment, he walked up to the tall black men and help out his hand palm up. Huggy snorted in laughter as he went behind the bar and retrieved Starsky's keys and returned them to their rightful owner.

Starsky took them, turned around and disappeared out the door of the establishment. Within seconds, Huggy heard the familiar roar of Starsky's monstrous engine, before hearing the screeching tires as the sounds faded off into the distance.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hutch heard the sound of Starsky's horn blaring outside, he walked over to Kathy who was sitting on the couch, the blanket pulled up over her, her gaze fixed on the televisions set, even though she wasn't sure what she was watching. He sat down next to her, her fixed stare never wavered as he took her small hand in his.

"You sure you're gonna be okay? I don't like leaving you alone like this." He said, dipping his head and looking up through his furrowed brow at her.

"Ken please, we've already been through this…I just need some time and some space." She answered softly.

He gently kissed her cheek as she turned her head from him, he felt the twinge of pain in his heart as she refused him unintentionally. Slowly he rose from the couch and headed for the door, grabbing his light brown leather jacket that was hanging on the door. Turning back once more to look at her, his voice gentle and understanding, he reminded her,

"If you need _anything,_ just call the station, they'll know how to get in touch with Starsky and me." He said before disappearing through the door, closing it behind him. She heard the noise of his key as he locked the door from the outside, making sure she was safe and sound. Closing her eyes, the tears fell freely down her cheeks as she pulled the blanket up, covering her face, sobbing into the quilted cover.

Hutch hopped in the Torino, closing the heavy door behind him. He looked over at Starsky as the brunet revved the engine, dropping it into drive and pulling away from Hutch's place.

Automatically he headed for the station, both men scanning their surroundings, a part of them looking for suspects, or possible threats in everyone they saw walking on the street. An uncomfortable blanket covering the car as they rode in silence until Starsky finally spoke up, "How's Kathy doin'?"

Hutch paused briefly, his eyes focused on the road ahead of him, "She's shuttin' me out Starsk." The blond answered, swallowing the lump that was growing in his throat.

"Can you get her to talk to someone?" Starsky too swallowed hard, the pang of guilt stabbing at his heart.

"I can't even get her to talk to me." The blond answered.

They both inhaled deeply, fighting the urge to release their own feelings, letting loose Pandora's box once and for all.

Starsky pulled into the police garage, killing his engine as both he and Hutch exited the vehicle. The brunet's head throbbed with the remnants from last nights' liquid dinner. Every movement he made caused his stomach to lurch, threatening to spew its contents everywhere. His hand instantly rose to shield his eyes from the bright sunlight, giving Hutch a view of the left side of his partner's face.

"Hey Starsk, c'mere…" Hutch said as he approached the brunet, lifting his hand and cupping his friend's cheek, "What in the hell happened to your face?" He questioned as the brunet jerked away.

"M'not exactly sure, but from what Huggy tells me, I was protecting Rita's virtue…" Starsky mumbled as he turned his back and headed inside the station, "from a Gorilla!"

Hutch snorted in laughter, knowing just by the look of him, Starsky had had one, if not more then one too many. He had been with his friend before in an inebriated condition and knew that the brunet could get a bit sloppy and rambunctious, not to mention his reflexes seemed to be the first thing to go after his fifth or sixth beer.

The two officers made their way to the squad room and straight to their desks. They had only been in place a few seconds when Dobey's door opened and the large black man appeared, his brow creased his eyes tired and bloodshot.

"Starsky, Hutchinson…can I see you two in my office…?" He asked the rhetorical question as both detectives rose and followed him back into the office he had just come out of.

Starsky closed the door behind him, Hutch taking a seat on the right side, Starsky to the left. Both men noted the serious demeanor on their superior as Starsky leaned forward, "What is it Cap?"

The rotund man looked at the brunet and then over at his blond counterpart, "There was another attack last night, a rape, in Kathy's neighborhood, the MO's the same, a couple of witnesses saw two men with stockings over their faces running from the scene." The captain orated somberly.

"What are you sayin' Cap? We got a couple of serial rapists on our hands?" Hutch asked, swallowing the bile that rose from his stomach, burning his throat.

"That's exactly what I'm sayin' Hutch, looks like your girlfriend was just the first." Dobey answered, staring deeply into the blonde's icy blue orbs as he watched the color drain from his face.

"What about the victim, does she have any new information, or new leads we can work?" Starsky interjected as Dobey sighed heavily and turned to look at him.

"M'fraid not…" he sighed, "According to the witnesses the MO is the same, but this time, they killed the victim after they raped her."

Both Starsky and Hutch felt the vice tighten in their chests as they realized that the same fate could have landed on Kathy as well as Starsky.

"Seems they didn't want any witness left to testify, so they beat her then strangled her to death," Dobey finished with the brutal facts as Hutch leant forward, his head falling into his hands at the gravity of the words that he had just heard.

"Oh God…" Hutch gasped, "that coulda been Kathy…" Hutch whispered as Starsky let his head fall back against the chair, staring at the ceiling, the screams and pleas that Kathy shouted out that night, playing over and over again in his mind.

To Be Continued…


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I do not own the guys; I just tend to play with them a bit…**

**Dedication: To many of my friend's that inspire and sometimes push me to write…THANK YOU ALL!**

**A/N: Trying my hand a more of a Hutch story, then Starsky, although both of them will be prominent in this one, this will be more hurt Hutch. **

**Warning: This one will deal with a sexual assault, if you are sensitive to this subject, please read no further.**

**I want to thank a certain friend of mine, a name I will NOT mention, for her input into Kathy's emotional state and the after effects of a traumatic experience such as this. **

**Blame**

**Chapter Ten**

Starsky and Hutch walked around the station, wrapped up loose ends and made sure that Starsky's report was filed, signed and completed. They were headed back to the garage, Hutch anxious to get back to Kathy and Starsky anxious to get a beer. As they reached the car, Hutch turned to his partner.

"Hey, would you mind taking me by Kathy's place, I told her I'd pick up a few things for her?" Hutch asked Starsky, looking over the roof of the Torino as Starsky avoided his eye contact, fiddling with the keys in his hands.

"Sure, sure…no problem." Starsky agreed even though secretly he really wanted to never go back to that place again as long as he lived.

Pulling up in front of Kathy's place, Starsky killed the engine of his car as he looked up at her apartment building. His chest tightened in anxiety as he sighed heavily. Hutch quickly jumped out of the car as Starsky moved much slower, dreading having to return back to this place that terrorized both him and Kathy.

Both men made their way up to the apartment, Hutch using his key to let them into the small abode. The tall blond entered first, with Starsky right behind him. The brunet shoved his hands deep in his pockets, trying to hide his shaking hands from the watchful eyes of his partner.

Hutch immediately entered her bedroom to retrieve some of her personal belongings that she had requested. Seeing the room in shambles tugged at Hutch's heart, knowing that the last time anyone was in here, a horrific crime was being committed. He entered her bathroom, opening her medicine cabinet and collecting odds and ends.

Starsky slowly paced the living room, that night playing out like an old movie, looping over and over in his mind, he could have sworn he could hear her screams all over again, and he felt just as helpless as he did that night.

_He heard what sounded like slaps, and sobbing, a man's voice._

'_You liked it and you know it, Bet its been a long time since you had a man like me. Your turn Ray, go for it, she's a fine piece.'_

'_No, please…don't oh my God, no please…you're hurting me! NOOOOOOOOO!'_

'_You got a lot of fight bitch! I'll give you that. But I like a girl with spunk!'_

Starsky got lost in his own turmoil and memories, and thoughts, his mind haunted with voices and screams. He felt a sweat break out across his brow as he pulled his hands out of his pockets and laid them out on the bar counter in front of him, grasping each side tightly, his knuckles turning white. He dipped his head down, his chin resting on his chest as he inhaled and exhaled labouredly. He didn't even see or hear Hutch walk out of the room and approach him, feeling the gentle hand of his partner on the small of his back.

"Hey buddy, you okay?" Hutch asked as Starsky whipped his head around to stare right into the light blue eyes of the person that meant the most to him in the world. He couldn't help but feel like he had let his best friend down.

"Huh? Me? Yeah, you kiddin'? M'fine…" Starsky rambled off quickly as he turned around to avoid his partner's accusatory gaze. "You got everything you need?"

"Um yeah, I think so…" Hutch took one last glance around the apartment before following Starsky who was headed for the door.

Hutch made note on how quickly Starsky exited the place as he rushed after him, following him down the stairs, two at a time as he descended them only to find Starsky at his car already. The brunet's face was drained, void of any color as Hutch saw the perspiration beading up on his forehead.

"Starsk, talk to me." Hutch pled.

"What about?" Starsky avoided his partners' all knowing gaze.

"Look at yourself, you act like you've seen a ghost." Hutch responded.

"Maybe I did Hutch, maybe I did." His word were curt and cold, letting Hutch know that he was not going to be pushed further, not now anyways.

Both men climbed into the car as the brunet started it, and angrily slammed it into drive peeling away from the curb and out onto the streets of Bay City.

Driving down the street in an uncomfortable silence, both men still scanned the area, looking for something or some one. The radio came to life, interrupting and slicing through the quiet air.

"_All units, all units please respond to reports of woman screaming, unknown disturbance, 2598 South Kenton, 2598 South Kenton."_

Without speaking a word of communication, both men looked at each other, knowing what the other was thinking. Hutch reached for the radio with one hand, while he slapped the Mars light on the roof of the car with the other.

"Dispatch this is Zebra three, we are responding." He spoke into the mic and then returned it to its cradle as other units chimed in with their acknowledgement and responses.

"That's about three blocks from here." Starsky stated, knowing that Hutch was thinking like he was. It was possible that these brazen men had the nerve to attempt to strike again, for a third night in a row, and maybe, just maybe, they would get lucky and catch them in the act.

Starsky jerked the wheel sharply, causing the car to lean wildly, making a U-turn in the middle on the road, Hutch sliding towards him as he grasped for the door for support.

The flashy red Torino pulled up, silently coming to a halt, both doors opened before the tires stopped turning. Starsky and Hutch exited the car, both of them drawing their weapons as they ducked and ran up to the house.

There were no screams, but they did hear someone inside, they weren't sure what the noises were, there were a couple of '_thuds'_ and some low whispers. With a simple nod of the head Starsky took the left side of the door, while Hutch flanked the right. Starsky reached over and carefully tried the door handle, finding it locked, he looked back up at the Nordic, who knew immediately what their next step would be. On the count of three, the tall blond swung around and kicked at the handle, splintering the jamb as the door flew open. Hutch went high as Starsky posed himself low to the ground, both of them, their weapons drawn, out in front of them, prepared to take shot at any sight of an attack.

"Fuck, it's the cops Ray!" A man's voice shouted out from the other room as they heard the sound of breaking glass and more heavy thuds.

Both Starsky and Hutch busted into the room at the same time, they immediately witnessed to men jumping out the window, as Starsky saw the unconscious woman laying on the floor of the bedroom. Her body battered and bruised, blood trickling from her nose, her shirt ripped nearly completely off. He rushed to her side, dropping to his knees, his hand instinctively pressed against her neck, looking for a pulse, but finding nothing. He looked up at his partner, swallowing hard as his stomach leapt to his chest.

"She's dead Hutch…" He murmured as Hutch leaned out the window and saw two men running down the alley.

"Come on Starsk, their getting' away." Hutch shouted as he propelled himself through the small opening, his long legs quickly closing the gap between him and one of the suspects as the man he was chasing ripped off the stocking from his head. "I'll take him, you get the other one!" Hutch shouted, fully expecting his brunet partner to be right on his heels, he always was just a couple of steps behind him.

Back in the bedroom, Starsky stood slowly hovering over the victim's body, the voices that continued to haunt him from the other night, screaming out in his mind.

'_No, please…don't oh my God, no please…you're hurting me! NOOOOOOOOO!'_

He heard Kathy's pleas, her calls for help. He looked down at the dead girl and for a brief moment he saw her face.

Hutch followed the slightly larger man, approaching quickly from the rear. One final leap and Hutch was able to grab the man around his back, knocking him forcefully to the ground, both of the letting out a grunt as the air was briefly knocked from both of them. Hutch quickly straddled the man, flipping him over so he was facing him. The rage in the blond boiled briefly out of control as he reared back his fist, letting it fly forward and connecting with the man's jaw, causing his eyes to roll into the back of his head briefly.

Hutch heard upcoming footsteps as he turned slightly to see Starsky finally approaching. Looking around the other suspect was no where in sight; the tall blond had no idea which way he had gone.

Starsky was breathing heavily, Hutch noticed his pale color. He stood over the blond as Hutch cuffed his suspect and then the blond looked up at his friend angrily.

"Where in the hell were you Buddy?" Hutch asked, "You didn't follow me…"

Starsky just stood there, staring at his friend, unsure how to answer.

"I…I…Hutch that girl…she was dead…I…I just froze, couldn't move…" Starsky tried to explain.

"Yeah? Well thanks to you, the other monster that raped my girlfriend got away! What? Did you just decide to do things your way again?" Hutch spewed, the piercing venom from his arrow stinging the curly haired man's heart.

"I couldn't help but think, that coulda been Kathy!" Starsky continued to defend himself, even though he really didn't feel he deserved to be defended.

"Well unfortunately, one of them is out there, and he's free to do this to someone else…damn it Starsk, we coulda had them both!" Hutch spat as he stood, and pulled his prisoner roughly to his feet, and shoving him along, back towards the Torino and away from Starsky.

A black and white cruiser pulled up right behind the cherry red Torino as two uniformed officers climbed out, rushing to Hutch's aide. One of them took the prisoner from his grasp, leading him back to his car as Hutch looked at the other young rookie.

"Need to call a coroner's wagon and crime team," he instructed the younger sandy blond cop who nodded and rushed off.

Starsky leaned against the hood of his car, both hands out in front of him, supporting himself. Sighing heavily, he shook his head as his words came out shakily and unsure, "Hutch, I froze…that's never happened before…I just couldn't move…all of a sudden I was back at Kathy's place…"

Hutch approached his partner, a supportive hand reaching up and grabbing his shoulder, squeezing lightly. "S'okay Starsk…m'sorry. I didn't mean what I said." Hutch said, the pain in his eyes searching his partners face as the brunet looked him straight in the eyes.

"Yeah you did, and you had every right to say that shit." Starsky concluded as he pulled away and walked away, heading down the street back into the building of the victim.

Hutch's heart broke, it was heavy and tied in a knot, feeling like someone had it grasped tightly in their fists, squeezing it harder and harder. He felt bad for how he spoke with his best friend; he struggled to understand his feelings, the amalgam of emotions that coursed through his body. He too felt the overwhelming fear when he saw that woman lying there, lifeless and battered.

To Be Continued…


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I do not own the guys; I just tend to play with them a bit…**

**Dedication: To many of my friend's that inspire and sometimes push me to write…THANK YOU ALL!**

**A/N: Trying my hand a more of a Hutch story, then Starsky, although both of them will be prominent in this one, this will be more hurt Hutch. **

**Warning: This one will deal with a sexual assault, if you are sensitive to this subject, please read no further.**

**I want to thank a certain friend of mine, a name I will NOT mention, for her input into Kathy's emotional state and the after effects of a traumatic experience such as this. **

**Blame**

**Chapter Eleven**

Starsky and Hutch sat behind the two way mirror as they watched the lead detectives on this case, questioning the suspect. They played the typical good cop bad cop roles that both Starsky and Hutch recognized. One officer stood over them man sitting at the plain wood table, he leaned forward, hovering as he asked the suspect.

"We know you weren't the only one, we want your friend, you scratch our back, and maybe we'll scratch yours." Detective Hudson spoke as his partner watched on, sitting across the table. "You stay tight lipped, and lets just say, things can get real messy for ya', if you catch my drift."

"I ain't telling you shit," The man that they had identified as Jim Nash, who had a rap sheet as long as Starsky and Hutch's arms put together, responded as he continued his tirade, "You hear me? I ain't about to rat out my friend!" He shouted as his face flushed.

Hutch noticed as Starsky paced back and forth in the small observation room, breathing heavily, reminding him of a bull that was getting ready to charge.

"Look Nash," Hudson shouted at him, "either you tell us what we wanna hear, or I'm gonna personally make sure your cell mate is the biggest, ugliest man in the whole damn prison!" he threatened.

"What'd ya' wanna hear, that the bitch was askin' for it?" Nash spat vehemently.

Hutch's head snapped up, his brow furrowing as he felt his stomach tying in knots. He heard a gasp and grunt from his partner standing behind him.

"That fucking son of a bitch." Starsky spewed, his voice almost a whisper as he hissed in hatred.

"Let 'im do their jobs Starsk…they're good at it." Hutch stated as a part of him wanted to fly through the mirror and rip the man's heart out.

"Want me to tell you how tight and good she felt? Is that what you wanna hear asshole?" Nash spewed his venom as Starsky headed for the door, putting his hand on the knob and jerking it open.

Hutch knew that his partner need to go for a walk, let off a little steam, but for some morbid reason, Hutch needed to hear this, he needed to know that these men were sick and he needed to know that they were going to be punished on way or the other. He needed to hear what Kathy went through in order to better understand where she was coming from.

Much to the tall blonde's surprise, as he watched the continuing interrogations, his eyes opened wide as he saw his partner busting through the door, the rage in the brunet's face evidence even through the tinted mirror. Hutch immediately jumped to action and rushed out of the observation room, trying to get to his partner before he killed the man being questioned.

All the two detectives in the room saw was a blur of the brunet who flew through the room, and with one rapid movement, snatched the man from his wooden stool and slammed him up against the wall, enjoying the satisfying gasp as the air was knocked from his lungs.

Even while he felt the hands of the other detectives on his arms, pulling him back, he placed his face inches from the suspects.

"You really got off rapin' that girl, didn'tcha? You wanna know something you son of a bitch! You haven't begun to pay for what you put her through!" Starsky spat, finishing just as he felt the familiar touch of Hutch's hand on his shoulder squeezing supportively.

"Starsk, let him go. They gotta finish their job here." Starsky turned his head to stare into his friend's sky blue orbs, searching for acceptance and forgiveness. "This isn't our case, remember, we're the victims here, and we have to let the system work." Hutch said calmly, earning him a curious stare from the brunet. "And if the justice system fails us, then I'll let you kill him, deal?" Hutch joked as Starsky began to relax his hold on the shaking man.

Hutch helped Starsky as he finally released the man who quickly moved to the protection of the two other officers in the room. Starsky slowly allowed the tension to slowly flow from his body as he started to move towards the door of the room. Both men walked out of the room together as they returned to the observation room, to continue watching the questioning, this time Hutch making sure he would not let Starsky out of his sight again.

They watched as Hudson hovered over the trembling suspect, offering him a cigarette and smiling at the fact that his hands were shaking to bad to even light it. He decided to change his angle for the moment.

Towering over the man, he said slowly and intently. "We already know about Ray, and now we want you to help us find him."

"I…I…I don't know no Ray." Nash stammered.

Hudson sat on the chair, scooting it closer to the terrified man, raising his finger and shaking it in his face. "Look, you're either gonna tell me where to find him, or I'm gonna let that man, "he pointed towards the mirror, "back in here, and I am going to let him do what ever he pleases with you…" Nash's wide eyes looked and Detective Hudson's. "You too made a huge mistake, you committed a horrific crime against the family member of a police officer, do you know how we handle that?"

Nash shook his head, "Well let me just enlighten you, we are officers of the law, and we have the ability to allow or make awful things happen to you, either here or in jail. Terribly painful accidents and it would be very difficult for you to receive any kind of help on the inside. We can tell your fellow prisoners, that you were a police informant, or a child molester. Do you have any idea what they do to child molesters in jail? It ain't pretty. You would rather I let Starsky in here to take care of you, trust me…" Hudson took the lighter and lit the cigarette for the suspect, watching as he took a long slow drag off of it, enjoying its flavor and calming affect it had on his nerves. "Or you could just tell us what we want to know and allow us to make this as easy as possible on you…what'd you say?"

Hudson paused and waited for Nash to think about it, but it didn't take him long to get his answers.

"I'll help you." Nash conceded as he dropped his head, in agony and relief all at the same time, knowing that he was saving his own but and sacrificing his friends.

"We want to know about Ray, last name, where we can find him, you know the drill." Hudson explained.

"We both are homeless, sleep all over town, alleys, abandoned cars, parks, you name it. We clean up and shower in public bathrooms, or the showers at the beach. Ray likes to hang out at a strip joint on 5th and Broadway, called the Hot Spot." Nash took another long drag of the cigarette, inhaling deeply and enjoying the feel on the nicotine as it calmed his nerves and opened his lungs. "He's there at least, two to three times a week, depending on how many purses he can snatch from little old ladies."

"Last name?" Hudson continued prodding.

"Wilks…y…yeah that's it, it's Wilks. We mostly stayed on the south side of town, near the park, or around Central Avenue. We'd only cross town to make a hit, or…to get us some girl to have some fun with. But it was Ray's idea, I just went along with him so I wouldn't get hurt. Ray can be real mean sometimes if you know what I mean…" Nash's voice trailed off as both Starsky and Hutch got lost in their own emotional turmoil.

Both men paced the small observation room, making their way around each other until they finally nearly bumped into the other. The questioning with Nash was just concluding when Hutch looked at his haggard looking partner with concern.

"Look, why don't you go home and get some rest. I'll finish things up here." Hutch offered.

"I ain't tired." Starsky's voice was short and curt, his frustration rising to the surface.

"Well, I say you are…" Hutch responded as the brunet looked up at him, "I'm gonna be leaving soon too, I need to get home to Kathy and check on her…go on…get outta here and take you sorry ass home…you look like shit." Hutch tried desperately to lighten his partner's mood, the weight of the past few days wearing on both of them, Hutch suddenly feeling like everyone's well being was now his responsibility, wondering when he was going to get a chance to take care of his own needs, but pushing them aside temporarily.

Starsky raised his hand to his face, dragging it down the entire length of his face, realizing that Hutch was right, he was tired and he needed to get away from this whole situation, even if it were briefly.

"Yeah, well alright…I could use a break from this place." Starsky conceded as he turned and grabbed his leather jacket off the back of the chair beside him, throwing it on his shoulders and quickly thrusting his arms through the sleeves. "Look, do me a favor…tell Kathy I said hey, and hope she's doing okay, would ya?"

"Sure thing Buddy," Hutch answered politely, knowing that Kathy wouldn't want to hear from Starsky, at least not yet. It tore Hutch up inside knowing that the woman he loved and the man that meant the most to him in the world couldn't be in the same room together. He wondered how they were all going to get through this, and if forced to choose sides, which side he would be on.

Starsky disappeared through the doorway and down the hallway as Hutch turned back around, staring at the man on the other side of the mirror, his anger and pent up frustration building up inside him, starting as a flicker of a flame and growing into a full on raging fire, deep inside him, he felt his face flushing as he fought back the urge to enter the interrogation room, pulling his Magnum, and blow the man's sorry brains all over the room. Sighing heavily, he too turned around and stormed out of the room, heading for the garage to find a ride back to his apartment, stopping briefly at the front desk to call Kathy and let her know he was on his way home. He decided to wait and tell her that one of the suspects had been captured until he was home to help her deal with the news.

On the way back to his place, Hutch had the uniformed officer that was giving him a lift, stop by the Chinese restaurant to pick up dinner for him and Kathy. He walked up to the front of his house, knocking lightly on the door, so he wouldn't startle her, before placing his key in the whole and turning carefully. Slowly he pushed the door open, looking inside, calling out for her.

"Kathy? Honey? It's me, I'm home." He spoke out as he walked through the threshold and inside, closing the door behind him.

He turned around to see her walk out of his bedroom, her eyes red and puffy; she looked like she had been crying. His stomach jumped as he looked again at her bruised face, every time he saw it, felt like the first. He moved towards his modest kitchen, setting the brown paper bag down on the table.

"I stopped and picked us up some take out, thought you might be hungry." The tall blond spoke calmly.

Kathy sat at the table as Hutch dug out the white take out containers and set them on the table.

"There was a break in the case today Kath…" He spoke as he sat in the chair next to her, taking her hand in his, "…we caught one of the guys that attacked you. He's behind bars where he belongs." Hutch explained, his brow furrowing as he waited to see her reaction.

"One of the guys? What about the other one?" she asked, her eyes once again welling with tears as she looked right through him, "Is he still out there?" She flipped her head towards the door.

"Yeah…m'sorry but I'm afraid he got away, we almost had him." The tall blond tightened his grip on her trembling hand, "we'll get him soon, I promise…then we can put this all behind us and move on, all of us…you, me and Starsky."

"Ken, I want to go to Trudy's house for awhile, I can't just stay here, waiting for you to get home, wondering if that monster is still on the street. I'm tired and I just want to get away and be alone. I talked to her today and she said I could stay as long as I need to." Kathy explained as she looked away from the blond.

"Honey, I want you to stay here with me, I want to protect you." Hutch pled.

"Like David protected me?" Kathy snapped back, regretting her words immediately.

"Is that what this is about?" Hutch asked, his facing draining of any color, his stomach tying in knots, "you blame Starsky for what happened to you?" The tall Nordic asked, a part of him fearing her answer.

"I've already packed my stuff, would you please give me a ride, I really need to get away from here Ken, please understand…" the tears finally breaking free and rolling down both cheeks. "I just need some time."

With a sudden movement Kathy jerked her hand from his grasp, standing up and then rushing off to the bedroom, slamming the door behind her as Hutch closed his eyes, dropping his head in exhaustion.

oooooOOOOOooooo

Starsky entered his darkly paneled apartment, taking off his leather jacket and hanging it on the coat rack by his door. He then unsnapped his holster, taking it off and hanging it by the door as well, the weight of the world sitting on his shoulders as he wandered into his living room. He looked around, wanting to do something, anything. He wanted to hurt that man at the station, he wanted to hurt the one that got away, he wanted to hurt himself. His silent rage slowly simmered inside him as he made his way to the kitchen, flinging open his refrigerator door, and retrieving an ice cold can of beer popping the top and taking a long swig of it. The slow burn as the amber liquid flowed down his throat was not quite satisfying enough as he set the can on his counter top and reached up in the cupboard, pulling down a bottle of whisky and pulling the top off.

Not even bothering to get a glass out of the cabinet, he took several chugs, right out of the bottle, desperate for its numbing effects to begin to work. He paused momentarily, closing his eyes as he felt the stronger burn of the harsh liquid, following it all the way down his throat and feeling it settling in his stomach, warming him from the inside out.

Opening his eyes, he picked up his beer and took a small drink out of it as he turned and took both containers back to the living room with him, throwing himself down on the couch, letting his head fall back against the sofa, lost in his own thoughts as he waited for oblivion to consume him.

To Be Continued…


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I do not own the guys; I just tend to play with them a bit…**

**Dedication: To many of my friend's that inspire and sometimes push me to write…THANK YOU ALL!**

**A/N: Trying my hand a more of a Hutch story, then Starsky, although both of them will be prominent in this one, this will be more hurt Hutch. **

**Warning: This one will deal with a sexual assault, if you are sensitive to this subject, please read no further.**

**I want to thank a certain friend of mine, a name I will NOT mention, for her input into Kathy's emotional state and the after effects of a traumatic experience such as this. **

**Blame**

**Chapter Twelve**

_Starsky laid on top of her, pinning her to the ground, the fear and terror in her eyes excited him. Dipping his head, his mouth claimed her hungrily as she tried to scream out. To know that he was doing this to Hutch's girl made Starsky even more aroused. He reached down with his hand, cupping her chin roughly as he continued to taste her flesh, feeling her fight against him, his excitement growing, pressing against her thigh. She stopped fighting and began crying, disappointing the brunet as he used his knees to spread her legs apart, positioning himself between them. _

_He lifted his face from hers, watching her face wretched in fear and sadness, her lips quivering._

"_Please Dave, don't hurt me…" She sobbed as he let out an evil laugh, grinding himself against her brutally, enjoying every sensation as she screamed out when he entered her roughly. _

With a jerk and a sudden leap Starsky bolted upright in bed, his face glistening with sweat as he tried desperately to shake of his nightmare. This was the second one in a row that woke him up tonight, this one more brutal then the first. It took him a minute to gather his bearings, as his vision cleared he saw his tall blond partner standing over him, a look of concern blanketing his face.

"Hey buddy, you okay?" Hutch asked, his voice low and non-threatening as he tried not to startle him. "Take it easy, it was just a dream." Hutch noted as he watched the confusion drain from his friend.

Starsky was still breathing hard, trying desperately to slow it down, shaking off the memories of the other night. He swung his legs over the side of his bed, the room slightly spinning as the effects of the alcohol still lingered in his system.

Hutch noted the empty beer cans in the living room, and the empty bottle of whisky lying on the floor by the bed, and knew what had transpired here, it wasn't hard to figure out that his partner had really tied one on this evening, and would probably be paying for it tomorrow. He was concerned about his partner, this was the second night in a row that Starsky had resorted to heavy drinking and passing out to numb his feelings. He felt a pang of guilt stab through his heart as he realized that he hadn't been there for his best friend to help him deal with the trauma that he had experienced and the guilt that he was carrying around with him ever since that fateful night.

Starsky was sitting on his bed, his head in his hands as he struggled to fight the demons from the other night from plaguing his consciousness as well as his unconscious. Hutch rounded his partner and sat next to him on the bed, putting a supportive arm around Starsky's shoulders. The brunet's shirt was gone, but his Levi's were still on, unbuttoned. His ensemble was completed by one Adidas clad foot and one bare one. Hutch could smell the alcohol that exuded from his friend's pores.

"Kathy left." Hutch blurted out as Starsky rasied his head to look at the blond, seeing the pain on his face, "she went to stay with her friend Trudy for awhile, guess I failed her too…" Hutch paused, an awkward silence falling over the room. "Jesus Starsk, I'm sorry." Hutch whispered, his heart breaking for the pain his friend was experiencing. "I shoulda been here to help you."

"You're sorry?" Starsky blurted out, "What the hell do _**you **_have to be sorry for? I'm the one that should be sorry; I'm the one that allowed your girlfriend to get raped by two monsters! What the fuck are you sorry for?"

"Starsk, this isn't your fault…its not Kathy's fault, it's the sick bastards that hurt her _**and**_ you, it's their faults. Christ, why can't you two get that through your heads?" Hutch spat.

"Kathy is blaming herself too?" Starsky asked.

Hutch paused, "Not exactly." He answered as Starsky inhaled sharply.

"Then she blames me too." He whispered as he kicked off his other shoe, sending it flying across the room.

Hutch paused, his fingers rubbing his temples, "Hey…the dream…wanna talk about it?" Hutch asked, wanting his partner to open up to him about it.

"Hutch will you knock it off, I don't need you psychoanalyzing me, it was a stupid fucking dream, nothing more." He spewed as he stood and plodded off towards the bathroom, slamming the door and turning on the shower.

Hutch sat there by himself, his two friends were falling apart right before his eyes and he felt powerless to stop it.

It wasn't long before Hutch heard the shower being turned off and the door opened, a puff of steam breaking free of the room that contained it. Starsky appeared, clad in a royal blue towel wrapped tightly around his lean hips, another draped over his head. He spotted his partner still sitting on the edge of his bed.

"You still here? Thought you woulda left by now." Starsky said curtly.

"I'm not going anywhere tonight, I'm here for the duration. Now why don't you get back in bed and get some sleep, tomorrow we can go check out the bar that Nash mentioned. You know, the one Ray Wilks hangs out at." Hutch explained, pulling back the blankets of his buddy's bed.

"Thought this wasn't our case?" Starsky disputed.

"I've got it all figured out, we're going in to check it out tomorrow, not get some rest." Hutch waved his hand towards the bed.

"You don't need to baby sit me Hutch, I'll be just fine." Starsky protested slightly.

"Yeah? Well I'm not going anywhere, so you might as well give up." Hutch snorted in laughter.

"Fine, then you get the couch!" Starsky snorted as he grabbed a pillow from his side and shoved it jokingly in his partner's gut, pointing up at his closet. "You know where to find the blankets are at."

"You're all heart Buddy." Hutch quipped back as he rose and made his way to the closet, retrieving a light tan cover, tucking it under his arm and stomping off towards the living room. Before passing through the doorway, he looked over his shoulder, "You sure you don't wanna talk about the dream?"

"Get outta here Blintz, before I change my mind and kick you to the curb." Starsky said as he allowed his body to fall onto the bed on his side, picking his legs up off the ground and tucking them back under the covers.

"You get some rest, tomorrow we go check out the strip club." Hutch's voice trailed off as he moved into the living room, sitting on the couch, kicking off his shoes, then letting his head fall back against the sofa.

He couldn't help but think about the brunet in the other room, his best friend. He knew Starsky was more disturbed by the event of the other night then he was letting on. He lay down on the couch, his long frame barely fitting the couch's confinements. Throwing the blanket haphazardly across him, he placed the back of his right hand across his forehead, deep in thought and concern. Tomorrow he would make his partner open up to him about how this was truly affecting him. He tried to put himself in Starsky's shoes , to feel what he was feeling. Hutch honestly wasn't sure he would be able to handle it if the shoe were on the other foot. If he was there while not one, but two mean brutally raped Starsky's girlfriend, the guilt would consume his as well. That was what their friendship was built on, watching each other's back, he knew Starsky felt like he had let Hutch down miserably. The blond was sure how long he laid there before drifting off to sleep.

oooooOOOOOooooo

_Starsky again found himself deep inside a frightful dream. This time, he was forced to sit there and watch Kathy's attack. There were no ties that bound him, nothing restraining him, yet as hard as he struggled, he was unable to move, or to try and save her. He fought furiously against an invisible force that kept him in place. He screamed out at the two stocking masked men, only no sound escaped his lips. _

He woke up with a start, bolting up in bed panting hard. He was tangled deep inside his blankets as they were wrapped tightly around his legs, almost restraining him. The door to the bathroom opened and Hutch stepped out, his hair flat against his head, dripping wet. He had a towel wrapped snuggly around his waist as he entered Starsky's room, seeing the distress his partner was in.

"Hey you okay?" Hutch spoke, as he moved towards the bed.

"M'fine." Starsky lied as he felt the sweat dripping from his face, "fine." He fought to kick the covers from his legs, trying to free his legs, embarrassed that Hutch was there once again to see how badly his dreams were plaguing him.

"You're not fine Starsk…these dreams, they're about Kathy and the rape aren't they?" Hutch sat on the bed, his brow furrowed with concern.

"Drop it!" Starsky spat, his voice angry and think.

"No, not this time, I am not letting you off that easy." Hutch argued. "Look, you need to talk to someone about this, and if it isn't going to be me, then you need to find someone to talk to."

Starsky finally freed himself from his bedding as he jumped out of the bed and headed towards the bathroom.

"I said drop it Hutch, an' I mean it!" Starsky snapped.

"You won't brush me off that easy this time Starsk. I'm not going to let it go, so you better deal with it." The blond continued as his partner slammed the bathroom door, shutting him out on the other side, once again. Hutch simply raised his voice, "You better talk to someone soon about this Starsk, you can't go on like this, it is gonna start affecting your work."

He heard the toilet flush and the door open as the brunet appeared in the doorway, "You mean like losing the guy yesterday? Is that what you're talking about?"

Hutch was silent.

"Just say it Hutch, it was my fault he got away. Maybe I am letting this affect me, but what do you want me to do about it? Just forget it and let it go? Kathy blames me, I blame me, and I think deep down inside, even you blame me." With that Starsky turned on his heals and reentered the bathroom, slamming the door once again.

Hutch sat there quietly, realizing that perhaps the brunet was right…they were all placing blame in the wrong directions, at each other instead of the men that performed this heinous act.

He heard the shower start up and the shower curtain being jerked open and then closed again. Hutch allowed his head to drop into his hands, he needed to fix this, and soon. It was eating the three of them up inside, but everyone was avoiding the issues at hand. After they checked out the strip club, he was going to see to it that the three of them got together and talked, got everything out in the open, and dealt with it.

To Be Continued…


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I do not own the guys; I just tend to play with them a bit…**

**Dedication: To many of my friend's that inspire and sometimes push me to write…THANK YOU ALL!**

**A/N: Trying my hand a more of a Hutch story, then Starsky, although both of them will be prominent in this one, this will be more hurt Hutch. **

**Warning: This one will deal with a sexual assault, if you are sensitive to this subject, please read no further.**

**I want to thank a certain friend of mine, a name I will NOT mention, for her input into Kathy's emotional state and the after effects of a traumatic experience such as this. **

**Blame**

**Chapter Thirteen**

The two detectives entered the crowded, smoke filled establishment, as the quickly split up, figuring they would be able to collect more information on their own rather then together.

Hutch saddled up to the bar as Starsky went closer to the front of the strip club stage, finding a table right up front. Instantly, his eyes locked with the sultry and buxom brunet that was highlighted on the stage, her dancing and gyrating instantly catching his attention. He smiled shyly at the woman who soon found herself dancing just for him.

She wore a royal blue sequenced bikini dress, along with long blue gloves and stiletto heels. Her dancing ability made Starsky very aware of why she was spotlighted as she continued to slither and make her way around the stage, peeling off her gloves and throwing the first one at the seated detective, draping it perfectly over his head. Blushing he pulled it off, and set it on the table in front of him. The cocktail waitress approached him, taking his order for one draft beer as she retreated to the bar to fetch his drink.

After peeling off her top, exposing two perfect and large orbs on her chest, the areola and nipples a darker color favoring the woman's darker skin, the woman on the stage, dropped to her knees, crawling on all four, mimicking a panther like stance as she slithered towards the enticed brunet. Still clad in a matching blue sparkling g-string, she crawled towards Starsky, his face quickly flushing from the attention.

Starsky dug deep in his pocket, pulling out a rather large roll of bills; on the outside of the wad was one dollar bills, with larger bills folded inside. She moved closer to him, her emerald green eyes lit up in excitement. It was very apparent that she enjoyed her job, and Starsky enjoyed watching her do it.

Hutch asked questions of the bar tender, the deafening sounds of the music mixed with the increase in cat calls made the blond turn around. He immediately watched what was causing the excitement in the venue increase as he watched the stripper make contact with his partner, making the blond pause his questioning, watching the events unfold, and finding himself oddly aroused by the performance.

The woman made her way to the front of the stage to the million dollar smile of the new customer that had found his way into her place. She whipped her legs around in front of her, sitting on the edge of the stage and sliding off of it, standing right in front of Starsky, her chest staring him smack dab in the face. He hadn't even noticed the new dancer that appeared on the stage, entertaining the rest of the spectators.

Starsky's own private dancer stood in front of him as he whipped out several bills, holding them folded, between his two fingers as she held out the string on her panties for him to place the tips. She bent over, her face in his, licking her lips as he too, leaned forward, speaking into her ear as loud as he could without allowing others to hear.

"I'm looking for a guy…" he started.

She pulled back, smiled at him and retorted sharply, "Honey your in the wrong club for that." She snorted in laughter as she continued her menstruations.

"That's not what I meant," he found himself back with his mouth at her ear, "he's a customer here, a regular…"

The woman pulled back, looked at him curiously and then bent back towards him. Starsky was impressed at how easily she kept the rhythm of the music and continued to dance without missing a beat.

"S'name's Ray…I hear he hangs out here a couple time a week…" Starsky finished as he backed up and watched the expression on her face.

Pulling out a ten from his wad of bills, he offered it to her and again she lifted her g-string outward allowing him to place it gently in a safe spot. She moved towards his ear. "I know who you're looking for, but not here, you'll have to pay for a private dance, there are rooms over there, " she flipped her head to the left of her, "it's gonna cost you, but I think I might be able to help." She stated as she turned and climbed back up on the stage with his assistance, making sure he held her arm to provide support for her, making sure she didn't fall off the tall heels she wore.

As soon as the song was finished the woman picked up the clothes she discarded that still remained on the stage. She looked back over her shoulder at Starsky, right before disappearing behind the curtain. She gave one final flip of her heard towards the curtain as she left the platform. Starsky looked over his shoulder and saw several doors, lined up against the wall, all gaudily decorated with flashing tiny lights, reminding him of a nickel arcade from back home. He stood quickly and made his way to the back of the room, only to be stopped by a very large and burly black bouncer. The man crossed his arms across his barrel chest, leaning back and eyeing the detective suspiciously.

Starsky looked back at the stage, hoping for the dancer's help, only to find a new woman taking the stage. He looked back at the bouncer, his brow raised nervously.

"The lady on the stage s'gonna dance for me." Starsky stated, looking up at the rather large man before him.

"Not until you pay the piper." The man's deep, rough voice reminded the brunet of a deep bass singer, his tone almost vibrating as he spoke. He held out his hand, palm up, flicking his fingers slightly.

"How much I owe ya?" Starsky asked as he dug back into his pocket and retrieved his money.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his tall blond partner, eyeing them curiously as Starsky kept his cool.

"A hundred dollars." He stated curtly, offering no other information.

"And exactly what do I get for my hundred?" Starsky asked, peeling several bills off the top of his wad.

"You get whatever she's willin' to give you. It's a private dance, what ever happens in there, stays in there…" he took the money from the smaller male, "just make sure you zip up before coming out." The large man turned and opened the door, granting entrance.

Starsky entered the small dimly lit room. One wall housed a floor to ceiling mirror, on the other side of the confined space was a small tan vinyl loveseat and the floor was adorned with blue shag carpet. Starsky sat on the uncomfortable sofa, looking around the room, the aroma of sex thick in the air.

Before long, the woman from the stage entered the room, clothed in her sequenced outfit, along with a thin silk robe covering her tiny frame, she smiled coyly and sauntered up to the brunet, sitting next to him, crossing her long leg, allowing it to cover part of his, tauntingly. She leaned in towards him, her finger ringing the ends of her long tresses as she bit her bottom lip.

"You like what you saw on stage?" She hissed, her hand coming up and rubbing his broad chest.

"Well, I guess you could say I thought you were very talented." Starsky smiled charmingly.

"You have no idea the extent of my talent." Her retorted as her hand traveled lower, stopping as she grasped his belt buckle.

"Whoa, hold on there a second honey, I think you misunderstood my interest in you." Starsky blurted out. "You said you got some info for me." He reached in his jacket and pulled out his badge, flashing it at her as she pulled back away from him.

"Yeah, I remember, just thought you'd like to have a little fun before pulling your badge on me." She remarked with a disappointed tone in her voice.

"M'fraid, I'm not that type of guy schweetheart." He looked at her, speaking in his best Bogey voice, giving her a wink, "I really just need to find out about this Ray guy…have you seen him around here recently?" Starsky asked, trying to put on the charm.

Disappointedly, the stripper pulled back, realizing that the detective was strictly business, unlike other officers that had made their way through there at other times.

"Recently?" She snorted in laughter, "What if I told you he's getting his rocks off in the room right next door."

Starsky's eyes opened wide as he sat up straight, perching himself on the edge of the loveseat. "Now?" He asked in disbelief, "You mean to tell me he's right next door? Which room?" He stood up, nearly shooting right out of the private room, but stopping himself just long enough to collect his thoughts.

"The one to the right of us." She stated, point next door, sensing his excitement and a feeling of fear lighting deep inside her.

He ran through the scenario in his mind, he would make his way to Hutch, let him know that Ray was right there in the same building, and the both of them would attempt tp apprehend him without incident. He realized that there were many innocent people here, and they had to ensure the safety of the woman he was with.

Starsky moved towards the door, reaching for his Beretta, he pulled it out, checked it and put it back in the holster. Lunging forward, he took the woman in the room, by the wrist and pulled her close to him. He dipped his head, looking deep into her eyes with genuine concern he spoke to her.

"Look honey, what's your name?" He asked, his eyes darting nervously to the door, and then back at her, he could feel his heart accelerating.

"Tonya, m'names Tonya." He noted the slight tremor in her words.

"I'm gonna go out there and talk to my partner whose right across the room, I want you to stay in here until I give you the all clear. You got that?" He asked as he looked with deep intent at her.

She nodded nervously, "You won't tell him I told you…will you?" She spoke in a mere whisper, not realizing the gravity of what she had just done until this very moment.

"Notta chance." He smiled at her and then kissed her cheek as he moved to the door and pulled it open. "Just stay put."

Starsky reached for the door, pulling it open, Tonya watched him disappear on the other side.

Starsky stood at the small walkway, scanning the area, looking for his partner who was not where he had left him. Finally his eyes locked on him coming back for a hallway, at the side of the bar he was left at. Just seconds before Starsky took his first strp in that direction, the door to his right opened and a man and woman came stumbling out, locked in an embrace. The brunet froze, staring at the man who took the woman in both arms, her back to Starsky.

The brunet detective's worst nightmare happened when the man looked up at him, locking eyes, recognizing him immediately. He shoved the petite woman into Starsky, who caught her before she fell to the ground. Like a bullet them man turned and ran back into the room they had come out of.

"_Hutchhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"_ Starsky shouted out as he set the girl on the ground and turned to run after the man, hoping his partner was right behind him.

To Be Continued


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I do not own the guys; I just tend to play with them a bit…I do not do this for profit, but pure enjoyment. **

**Dedication: To many of my friend's that inspire and sometimes push me to write…THANK YOU ALL!**

**A/N: Trying my hand a more of a Hutch story, then Starsky, although both of them will be prominent in this one, this will be more hurt Hutch. **

**Warning: This one will deal with a sexual assault, if you are sensitive to this subject, please read no further.**

_**Forgive the delay in updating, but my muse decided to take a Caribbean Cruise, so I say we all blame her!**_

**Blame**

**Chapter Fourteen **

Starsky bolted through the doorway as he watched Ray Wilkes jump through the window send glass shattering everywhere, as wood from the window's pane flew. The brunet quickly ran to the man made exit, pausing to look out to see where the perpetrator had gone. Thankfully were on the first floor, he looked to the left he watched as the man stumbled his way down the filthy, cluttered alleyway. He carefully climbed through the window, shards of glass embedding themselves in his right hand as the detective grimaced in pain, shoving himself completely through the window, jumping out and landing, bent knee on the ground below him. Standing quickly, he shook his bleeding hand towards the ground try to knock the sting shards of glass from his palm, then he took off quickly after the suspect, gaining speed quickly and closing the gap between them in little time.

Soon he was with in grasping distance as he made a hail Mary leap, tackling the man, grabbing him around the back, the full force and weight of Starsky's body knocking him to the ground with a satisfying thud.

Starsky straddled the stocky man, grabbing his shoulder and flipping him over so he could finally face the man that he knew was responsible for the attack on him and Kathy.

Looking down at him, Starsky's eyes became dark and angry, he grabbed the man by the collar, and lifted him towards his face, bending down to decrease the distance between them. He was panting, breathing hard, his lips pursed together.

"Why?" Starsky growled, "Why her, why any of them? You could come here and gotten your rocks off any time you wanted…why'd you have to hurt them?" He demanded a response.

"It's so much better when they fight it." Wilkes stated, conceding that he was caught. "I like to hear them beg me to stop."

Starsky's brow narrowed, his eyes growing closer together, "I wanna hear you beg." He whispered as he pulled back his right fist and let it fly forward, connecting with the man's cheek, retracting it and letting it go again, over and over and over again, feeling the satisfactory bruising of his owns knuckles and seeing the splitting skin on the mans face as the blood started to flow, slowly at first, then becoming more apparent as it covered his hand. He heard a slight whimper come from the man as he continued to pummel him, slamming the side of his head, his jaw and his torso as well. The brunet never recalled ever feeling such rage and hatred for anyone in his life.

The haze and rage that hovered over Starsky was broken when he felt himself being roughly grabbed and jerked off of the suspect kicking and fighting to get in one final punch.

The brunet fell to the ground, on his side, looking up to see Hutch standing over him, his friends understanding yet scrutinizing eyes locked on him.

"What the hell do you think you're doing Starsky?" Hutch asked as he looked back the Wilkes, then at his partner.

"Makin' him beg." Starsky spat as he struggled to get up, propping himself up on his elbow, looking down at his right hand that was dripping in blood, part from Wilkes' face, the other from the glass embedded in his palm. He noticed the swelling of his hand, instantly feeling the throb of his broken middle finger.

Hutch moved to his partner's side, "Hey you okay?" He asked with a sudden air of concern in his voice.

"M'fine, just broke a finger." Starsky grumbled as he stood up slowly with Hutch's help.

"Was it worth it?" Hutch asked as he moved towards the suspect who was lying there, fading in and out of consciousness.

"Every second of it." Starsky said pointedly. "You mad at me for doin' it?"

"Yeah I am," Hutch answered as he bent down and patted down the vile creature on the ground, "mad you didn't let me take a shot at him." Hutch spat as he proceeded to roll the man over and cuff his hands behind his back, making sure he wouldn't be going anywhere. "Whata you gonna tell Dobey?"

"Me? What about you?" Starsky quipped, the look of a hurt boy washing over his face.

"You had all the fun, you gotta come up with the story."

"Not our fault we went out to have a good time tonight, you know, blow off some steam and it just so happen to be at the same place his buddy claimed he hung out. Not our fault we got lucky. Not our fault those two detectives on the case took there time looking into this place." Starsky looked at his friend as Hutch locked eyes with him, "That'll be my defense, it's not my fault."

Starsky turned his hand palm up, trying to pick out the glass from his wounds, wincing with even the slightest attempt.

"You really think he's gonna buy it Starsk?" Hutch inquired.

"Well, then I suggest you come up with something better." The brunet responded as he walked up to the suspect who was lying on the ground, reaching down and roughly jerking him to his feet. Hutch quickly bent over trying to help bring the man to his feet, a part of the blond satisfied by his already bruising face, only wishing that it was he that caused the damage instead of his partner.

Starsky pulled Wilkes towards him, guiding him haphazardly down the alleyway and towards his car with Hutch walking closely behind him.

As they approached the Torino, Starsky shoved Wilkes over the hood, bending him in half, placing the elbow of his right arm in the small of his back, as he patted him down harshly with his left hand. After making sure he wasn't carrying any weapons, he pulled him back up, Hutch had already opened the door, and pulled the passenger seat forward, leaving room for Starsky to hurl Wilkes into the back of his precious car. He bent over looking in at the man that was laying across the seat, his forehead on the black leather.

Lifting his finger and waving it at the man threateningly he spoke with true disdain, "Don't you even think 'bout bleeding all over my car." He spewed before standing and locking gazes with a smirking Hutch. "What? I just had the upholstery cleaned." He finished.

"How's your hand?" Hutch asked with concern, "You want me to drive?" he offered.

"I drive better with a broken hand, then you do with two good ones, an' you know it." Starsky joked as he rounded his car and climbed behind the wheel.

His hand ached and throbbed, the pain becoming more evident as time wore on and his adrenalin leveled back out.

Hutch reached for the radio, pulling the mic close to his face, pushing the button and speaking into it.

"Control, this is Zebra three, over." Hutch said, and then waited for a response.

"Go ahead Zebra three, this is control" Mildred's voice resonated over the airwaves.

"Mildred, get me a direct line and patch me through to 555-7191."

"10-4 Zebra three."

"Whatya doin'? Starsky asked.

"Callin' Kathy…I want to let her know she doesn't have to worry anymore, she's safe now." The blond replied, excited to tell her they had caught the second man, hoping this would help her put this behind her.

"_Hello…" _Hutch instantly recognized Trudy's voice on the other end.

"Trudy, this is Ken…can I talk to Kathy for a second?" He asked, a lump in his throat growing as he was suddenly gripped with fear, his mind racing trying to figure what words he would use to break this to her.

"_Um Ken, she's not exactly here right now."_ Hutch could sense the hesitation in her voice.

"She's not? Well, um when will she be back?" Hutch asked, swallowing the growing lump.

"_Ken, I'm sorry…I didn't know she didn't call you…I don't think she's coming back." _Trudy's voice was soft and soothing, but it didn't help what Hutch was feeling inside.

"What you mean, she's not coming back?" Starsky's eyes darted over to his friend as Hutch looked away, out the window trying to hide the hurt.

"_Ken, she left, she went back home…" _

"Back home, to Chicago?" Hutch couldn't hide the pain in his voice.

"_I'm sorry Ken…I thought she called you first." _

Hutch tapped the mic against his forehead, in disappointment as he felt the burn of tears as they began to sting his eyes and he fought to hold them back.

"_Ken, you there"_ Trudy spoke, breaking the awkward silence between them.

Hutch snapped out of it, shaking his head and speaking into the hand piece. "Um, yeah. I'm here Trusy…listen, thanks for everything. If you hear from her…would you…" he choked on his words, struggling to keep his composure, "um, would you just tell her I called?"

"_Of course I will Ken…and again, I'm sorry." _

"Yeah, thanks." Hutch finished the call and hung the microphone back in its cradle on the dash.

Starsky sighed heavily, his hand throbbing as he examined the damage and the swelling discoloring middle finger wincing in pain, then looking at his partner as Hutch sat there, staring out the windshield in front of him.

They drove along in an uncomfortable silence for about 3 minutes, before Starsky cleared his throat, "_Ahem_, uh listen, you okay?"

"M'fine…" Hutch said quickly, not offering anymore conversation.

"Just give it time Hutch, she'll get past this, and then maybe, who knows…she'll come back." Starsky explained.

"You don't really think that do you?" Hutch continued to stare straight ahead.

"Well…um…no, not really, but you never can tell."

"That's true, you never know what's going to happen…you know, life is funny that way…did you ever stop to think about that Starsk?"

"Think about what?" The brunet glanced over at his partner, knowing that in typical Hutch fashion, the blond was about to over analyze this, like he did with almost everything else.

"Life…I mean we go along everyday, day in and day out, night after night, seeing the true ugliness of the world. And we take the reports, and solve the crime and we walk away…then something like this comes along, and it affects all of us, and the first thing we want to do is find someone, something to blame all of this on…like if we have something to pin it on, or can come up with a reason for it happening, or blame one person, like that is going to make us feel better in some strange way…when in reality, blame is the worst thing any of us can do…to each other, to ourselves. We need to realize that blaming someone for what has happened isn't going to change the fact that it _DID _happen."

"The only people that deserve to be blamed are the animals that committed the act in the first place." Starsky concurred.

"My sentiments exactly…now lets get you to the hospital and get that hand checked out."

"Not a bad idea…as much as I hate hospitals, I hate this pain even worse."

"Want me to drive your car?" Hutch offered, reminding him of another time when he had lost a woman that he loved and that was Starsky's solution.

"Think you're up to it?" Starsky quipped back.

"I think I can handle it." The blond smiled.

Starsky pulled over to the curb as the two changed positions, Hutch getting out and running around the front of the car, while Starsky scooted over to the passenger side.

Hutch jumped behind the wheel and they sped off, on their way to drop the suspect at the station and then to the hospital…While Hutch's heart was on a plane headed for Chicago.

To Be Continued…


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I do not own the guys; I just tend to play with them a bit…I do not do this for profit, but pure enjoyment. **

**Dedication: To many of my friend's that inspire and sometimes push me to write…THANK YOU ALL!**

**A/N: Trying my hand a more of a Hutch story, then Starsky, although both of them will be prominent in this one, this will be more hurt Hutch. **

**Warning: This one will deal with a sexual assault, if you are sensitive to this subject, please read no further.**

_**Forgive the delay in updating, but my muse decided to take a Caribbean Cruise, so I say we all blame her!**_

**Blame**

**Chapter Fifteen **

The mood in the courthouse was tense. Ray Wilkes and Jim Nash sat at the defense table as the judge called the court room to order. The jurors were led into the room as they filed into their seats to the right of the Judge's bench.

Kathy sat between Starsky and Hutch, right behind the prosecutor's table, nervously fumbling with a tissue in her hands, her head down, her gazed fixed on her lap. Both Starsky and Hutch appeared on edge as they watched the 5 men and 7 women jury enter and take their seats. The courtroom was quite as a few subtle coughs and rustling of clothes were the only noises to be heard.

The judge addressed the group of people to his left as an older gentleman from the front row of the jury box stood.

"The Bailiff has informed me that you have reached your decision Mr. Foreman," the judge spoke clearly. "Is this true?"

"Yes your honor it is." The balding, gray haired man stated as he folded his hands in front of him.

"Please hand the Bailiff your verdict." He instructed as the large black Bailiff crossed the courtroom and retrieved the paper from the jury foreman.

The aging man handed it to the court officer and remained standing as the paper was handed to the judge behind the bench who read it and folded the paper back up, handing it back to the Bailiff.

"Would you please read your verdict for the court?" The judge requested as Mr. Amsted, the jury foreman cleared his throat and opened the piece of paper.

There was a nervous silence in the room as Kathy felt a lump in her throat begin to grow to unbearable size. Out of the corner of his eye, Hutch saw her tense and reached over, grabbing her hands from her lap and covering them with his. She glanced at him as he winked, trying to calm and reassure her. He bent forward, looking at his partner, noting his icy, angry stare that was fixated on the predators seated at the defense table.

Hutch had only seen that look in his partner's eyes a few times in the past, one of the times being when Terry was killed, the love of his life that had been senselessly taken away from him too soon. The brunet's gaze never wavered from the defendants as the blond looked over and saw Ray Wilkes, look over his shoulder, catching Starsky's attention. A sick sneer crossed the criminals face as he winked at the detective. Hutch looked back to see Starsky's body tense, the muscles in his jaw tighten and relax as the curly haired man clenched his teeth together. Hutch knew he needed to distract his friend before the temperamental man leapt over the waist high barrier and onto the evil predators.

"Pssst," Hutch attempted to get Starsky's attention, but failing. "Pssst…"

Starsky broke his gaze and looked over at his partner who gave him an understanding wink and a tip of his head.

Starsky's attention was quickly grasped by the jury foreman, reading their verdict, as the brunet turned to face the man.

"We the jury in the above mentioned case, In regards to count one, do hereby find the defendants Guilty of the crime of Murder in the first degree. In regards to count two, we find the defendants Guilty of the crime of kidnapping and brutality of a law enforcement officer. Count three, we the jury find the defendants guilty of the crime of kidnapping while committing a sexual assault."

Hutch clasped his hand tighter around Kathy's as he felt her begin to release some of the tension. They all knew that finding them guilty of these crimes would ensure that they would remain behind bars for the rest of their lives.

Once the verdicts were completely read, the judge set sentencing for three weeks from today's date, banging his gavel hard on his bench as the Bailiff announced:

"All Rise!" He bellowed as the Judge rose and left the platform, disappearing behind a wood paneled door at the back of the courtroom. Four other officers approached Wilkes and Nash as two flanked each of them securing their cuffs. Starsky's gaze continued to bore holes right into them as Wilkes' turned slightly, looking over his shoulder and right into the brunet's cold, angry dark eyes, burning that stare forever in his memory as they were led out of the courtroom and back to jail where the would, in all probability, spend the rest of their lives behind bars.

The spectators and lawyers slowly made their way out of the courtroom as Starsky and Hutch stood there uncomfortably with Kathy. Hutch had picked Kathy up the day before, to come in specifically for the verdict to be read. Starsky and Kathy had not seen each other since before she had left Bay City, and there was still an uncomfortable tension between them that Hutch had no way of breaking through.

"I've got an idea," Hutch snapped his fingers, "why don't we all go to Huggy's and get a bite to eat, for old times sake." He suggested.

"I really don't feel up to it Ken, perhaps you could take me back to your place so I could rest, and you and Dave can go out." Kathy interjected quickly.

Hutch sighed heavily, knowing that she was trying to avoid spending time or discussion the situation.

"Okay, fine, but wait here for a minute, I need to hit up the john." Hutch stated as he quickly rushed away and out of the courtroom

Starsky and Kathy found themselves standing there in an uncomfortable silence, both of them looking around the room, and trying to avoid eye contact with the other.

"So how was your flight?" Starsky asked, his eyes still focused on the ground in front of him.

"Good, good…" Kathy answered almost too fast. "How's Ken been?"

"Good, good." Starsky answered as he looked up and into her face, locking eyes with her, "He misses you Kathy…and I can't help but think that a big part of this is my fault."

"Dave, you know as well as I do, this isn't your fault, nor Ken's, nor mine. It happened and I am trying to deal with it as best as I can. Maybe someday, I can come back and live here, but right now, it is just too hard for me. I see those men everywhere, around every corner."

"You know that if I could have helped you, I woulda, dontcha?" Starsky asked as he felt the lump in his throat grow and his eyes began to sting from the tears that threatened to break loose.

"I know that Dave, please don't blame yourself…I know how you feel, and that is part of the reason I can't stand to be around you."

Starsky's head snapped up, the confused look on his face boring through her soul.

"Don't look at me like that Dave, I can't stand to see the guilt in your face, or hear it in your voice. It reminds me every minute of every day that you are tearing yourself up inside, just like I am over this…and I can't do anything about it to help you. I can't even help myself yet…but maybe someday."

The two of them began walking out of the courtroom and towards the hallway bathrooms, waiting for Hutch to return, "So you don't think you can work it out with Hutch and stay here?" Starsky asked, a part of him wanting to see a happy ending here.

"Not yet Dave, not yet. I'm just not there, ya know?" Kathy responded her head down, looking at her hands that were busy wringing a torn Kleenex.

"Well at least those to scum bags won't be seeing freedom for the rest of their days…" Starsky began then stopped quickly, realizing that those words held little comfort to a woman that had gone through what she had. There was something that was taken from her that he would never be able to get back for her. It wasn't like they had stolen her purse, but they had violated her in such a way that she may, and probably would, find it very hard to ever be intimate with a man again, especially without it causing some painful memories for her. He just hoped that she would someday find a man that would understand and be there for her, in mind and body, however she needed.

Starsky looked up to see Hutch walking towards them, the shy, thin smile, brimming his face. He watched Kathy's reaction to seeing him and knew that what they once had was gone; all they seemed to have left was sadness and pity for the other, something that may never be fixed.

oooOOOOooo

**Two weeks later…**

They sat in the Torino, Hutch lost in thought as Starsky's energy and enthusiasm nearly burst from his bouncing frame. The brunet tapped on his steering wheel as he kept time to some music that was playing in his mind, humming and making mock drum sounds as the song played out. Snapping his fingers in front of him, he shouted out.

"Damn it, Hutch. I forgot to ask you…um…Cindy is in town tonight and wanted to hook up…" Starsky spoke as he looked at his partner and then back out the front windshield, knowing that his friend was distracted and lost in thought. "Well you see, her cousin lives here…"

"Mmmmm hmmmm," Hutch mumbled, not paying attention to his friend but wanting him to think he was listening.

"Well, she promised her cousin she would go out with her tonight, so I kinda told her that we could double date…" Starsky continued.

"Mmmmm hmmmm," Hutch's head remained down, concentrating on the paper in his hands.

"So whatya say?" Starsky asked, acting like a puppy that needed to be taken for a walk, "wanna go meet up with them?"

"Sure Starsk, whatever you say." Hutch answered, not knowing what he was agreeing to, but trusting his partner.

"Hey you okay partner?" Starsky asked, noting Hutch's distance.

"M'fine." Hutch waved him off, trying to ignore his friend's good natured pestering as he continued to look at the papers he held in his hands.

Starsky smiled, started his car and lost himself back in the music that only he could hear, playing his air guitar and drums, using his hands and the steering wheel before him.

Hutch sat there, reading the letter he held in his hand, the twinge in his heart making it difficult to keep from Starsky, but doing his best.

_Dear Ken,_

_First of all I wanted to tell you that I am sorry that everything worked out the way it did. I wanted, no I needed to thank you for being you. I wish things were different but we can't go back and change the past, and most of all, we can't try and find someone to blame for it. Everything happens for a reason, what the reason was for all of this, I am not sure yet. I do know that I loved and still do love both you and Dave, but the guilt that we all felt for things that happened that were beyond our control, was too much for me to deal with. _

_I did blame you for not picking me up at the airport, and I did blame Dave for not stopping those animals from hurting me. I even blamed myself for not fighting hard enough. _

_I learned that from that blame, I was able to grow and face things I never thought possible. At first I tried to hide, but that blame made me realize that it was none of our faults and there was such anger that needed to be released, I am still learning how to do that. I am sorry things didn't work out, but I need you and Dave to know that none of this was your fault anymore then it was mine. I had to learn and accept that fact. _

_Maybe some day, I will return and I hope that you are still there for me like you always have been. Until then take care of Dave and thank him for…well for just being him. And thank you too!_

_Love,_

_Kathy_

Hutch folded up the letter and placed it in his pocket, blinking hard to fight back the tears that burned his eyes threatening to try and break free. He rubbed his nose as he noticed Starsky driving into the parking lot of a local disco. He looked over at his partner curiously.

"What the hell are we doing here?" Hutch asked.

"Whatya mean?" Starsky asked, claiming innocence.

"I mean, what are we doing here?"

"Meeting the girls." Starsky answered as he parked the car, throwing the car into park.

"Mind telling me what girls?"

"Don't you listen to anything I say anymore Hutch?" Starsky asked pretending to be hurt.

The brunet opened his door and stood up, Hutch following his cue, looking over the roof of his car at the brunet. "When did you ask me out?" The blond asked, slamming his car door shut.

Starsky shut his door too, then looked at his partner, putting both of his arms on top of the Torino, "You know what your problem is partner?"

"No but I bet you're gonna tell me." Hutch quipped.

"You are way to into yourself and don't take in your surroundings." Starsky accused him as he started to walk away from the parking spot, Hutch following him. "I mean, I just told you about Cindy and her cousin…and you agreed to double date with us…and you were so wrapped up in what ever it was you were reading, that you didn't even pay attention to anything I said."

"You asked me out on a date?" Hutch asked surprised.

"Not with me dummy, with Cindy's cousin…" Starsky quipped back.

"Is she cute?" Hutch asked, his interest peeked.

"Dunno, never met her." Starsky said, his eyes scouring the crowd for Cindy's familiar face.

"You set me up with someone you never met?" Hutch asked, his lips pursed together angrily.

"Well if she is anything like Cindy, you don't have anything to worry about." Starsky stated as he flipped his head, recognizing his date and her beautiful companion from afar. "Besides, I think you're going to thank me."

"You do, do you?" Hutch mocked as he turned to see Cindy walking towards them, from across the parking lot.

The closer they got the wider both Starsky and Hutch's eyes became. Although she was strikingly beautiful, they couldn't help but notice how she towered over he cousin, and although Cindy was not short herself, they quickly realized that her cousin was of abnormal height, even for someone as tall as Hutch.

Hutch leaned towards his partner who knew he was in trouble, "You mean to tell me that her cousin is a 7 foot Neanderthal?"

"Hutch, I hardly think she's 7 foot…besides, once she takes her heels off, you'll be a lot closer in height." Starsky swallowed hard and stammered nervously.

Hutch looked down and slapped his friend on the back as they were just with in ear reach, he lowered his voice, "She's wearing flats Einstein!" The blond shot back as he smiled and held out his hand politely to greet his date.

Starsky took Cindy's hand, leaning in and kissing her cheek affectionately then pulling back.

"Dave, Ken, this is my cousin, Agnes Green. Agnes this is Ken and Dave." Cindy introduced the trio.

The blond allowed his gaze to travel upward, straining his neck jut to look into her face. He was a tall man himself and Agnes easily out did him by at least six inches. Hutch uncomfortably placed his hand around the extremely tall woman's back, guiding her into the disco as she followed her cousin.

Starsky and Hutch wound up side by side, as the passed through the doorway Hutch leaned towards his partner and whispered in his ear.

"You are taking full Blame for this evening, and just remember paybacks are a bitch!" He snapped as they completely entered the crowded club and Hutch lost himself in the overwhelming sounds of people yelling and loud music. He prayed for an early evening, and that he would not be asked to dance by his date, that she would be happy, just sitting, talking…

The End


End file.
